Random Channel Surfing

Sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling that all I'm doing is in vain. Like every single thing I write is crap. Like I'm never going to fulfill my dreams. It doesn't help that I seem to be seeking validation for the things I write. I used to write because I enjoyed it, but now? The joy comes from people praising my words. The use of a period or comma. What the hell happened to me? blah blah blah Sorry for hosting another segment of the Marcela Loves Whining !

I mean, NBD. Not like anything will come of it... but still. I iz excited.

Ojala no me importara. Pero si me duele cuando no le importo a la gente. Ojala fuera asi de talentosa como otras. Pero estoy llena de ideas comunes. Ojala Ojala Ojala

I can't help but idealize people in my life, so when they finally do something to disappoint me, I find it unbearable.

An ego boost in a diminutive package.

Pros Money Health benefits Money Good work environment Money I'm doing something that was in my field of study Money Cons I feel restless I feel underappreciated I want to write, not edit, dammit! Too busy to take any breaks Working overtime... again I feel trapped My job is making me second-guess my abilities as writer I resent my boss The mess at work makes me feel like I'm in over my head