Random Channel Surfing

Wearing red lipstick does make you more visible. The correct terminology to use here is probably "noticeable", but for a shy girl like me, you definitely feel visible . I mean, let's be honest: you can't hide when you're sporting a bright, bold colour on your lips. People point it out sometimes and those who don't see you often may just say, "You're wearing more makeup than usual!" as though wearing lipstick is the same as slapping on three coats of foundation. [Cue eye roll] Wearing red lipstick teaches you how to properly apply lipstick. When you commit to wearing red lipstick every day for a full year, you need to learn how to properly apply it. That means that I learned the importance of investing in lip liner and actually used it. I learned how to apply lipstick so that it was long-lasting, so that the colour was bright, so that it was as bold as I was pretending to feel. (I only half-kid.) I also learned how many coats to apply, where...

I've been thinking lately about how lucky I've been this year. (#blessed) Sure, I had my trying moments; there were times when I was so frustrated I could scream, but most of the year was good . And yeah, I had my fair share of heartaches and sadness, but the positives outweighed the negatives. I made new friends, I saw new parts of the world, I learned more about myself. Life gave me so many presents and I'm eternally grateful for 2013. But despite all that, I still want certain things before the year is through. I'm as selfish as they come and there's no denying that. And some of the items on my list are abstract, intangible things, but there are a slew of others that can be bought. Things like: -Pacific Rim -Beyoncé -HAIM -The Little Mermaid -The Rescuer's and The Rescuer's Down Under ('cause I'm a child) -Happy Endings (seasons one to three) I'm sure my family and friends will buy these things for me. But those intangible, abstr...

I like to pretend that I'm a lot more confident than I am -- fake it 'til you make it, y'know -- but if there's one thing I've learned this year through all the experiences I'm forcing myself to go through (teaching, volunteering, taking classes), it's that I have a hard time doing things on my own. I have to repress my feelings of inadequacy and fear when I'm faced with a new experience. I have to push myself out of my comfort zone, often finding new reasons and excuses to do the pushing. It's difficult and terrifying and I usually have to blast Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" to remind myself that no matter what happens, everything will be all right. It's never as bad as I imagine it could be . And what I'm realizing is that, yeah. I'm not afraid being alone per se (I'm comfortable going to the movies or going for a coffee by myself), but rather of facing new experiences by myself. I've always known I have an...

I've filled this out a few times in the past, but I figured now that 2013 is coming to a close, I might as well do it again. Rules: 1) Turn on your iPod. 2) Change settings to "Shuffle". 3) Press play! 4) For every category, type the title of the song that plays. 5) Hit the "Next" button and DO NOT skip. 6) DON'T LIE! ***************************************************** Opening credits:  St. Peter's Cathedral (Death Cab for Cutie - Codes and Keys) First day at a new job:  Tonight, Tonight (Passion Pit - Cover of Smashing Pumpkins' song) Falling In Love:  Collect Call (Metric - Fantasies) Fight Song:  Mutt (Blink-182 - Enema of the State) Breaking Up:  Miscommunication (Timbaland [feat. Keri Hilson and Sebastian] - Timbaland Presents: Shock Value) House Party:  Junk of the Heart (The Kooks - Junk of the Heart) Life:  I Want to Know What Love Is (Foreigner - Agent Provocateur) Mental breakdown:  Police and Thie...

This year was my "sort all of my unresolved shit" year. It's been going all right, I guess. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone more than once (*pats back*), I confronted some personal demons, and now I've committed to getting something I wrote published. That's right. I'm finally biting the mother-fucking bullet and pushing myself. I'm terrified, but oddly calm. The same way I would feel when I'd prepped for an exam and was about to go into the test: like I'd done everything in my power to guarantee that terrific grade, but still felt paranoid I would somehow muck it up. Y'know? Anyway, I'm submitting said piece by the end of the week. *flails*

I've made a list of cities I want to see next year. Montreal, Toronto, New York, Flores, Guatemala... I think it's doable, too. If I go see Mel in Ontario for my birthday in March, and I go to Montreal with the girls and guys in August, I could potentially go to New York after our stint in Montreal. Cut to October/November 2014, when a trip to see the old familia is doable. Yes. Yes. I quite like this plan o'mine.

I keep getting spammed :( Guess I'm going to have to change my url. So long, randomchannelsurfing. You've been a great friend!

I'm very grateful that we never stop connecting with people. I admit that there are a handful of individuals I wish I was closer to, but I'm not going to focus on that because I can't really do anything to rectify it. What I can do, however, is bask in the happiness I feel over the friendships I made this year. And I'm amazed at just how many new friends I made. From getting friendlier with someone I was never friends with in high school (but reconnected with thanks to Melissa), to befriending my friends' friends and getting to know them on a more personal level, this has been a great year to connect with new people. And I'm feeling very thankful for each and every one of these new friends. Especially Mallory. Mallory is the kind of friend who makes you feel wonderful  about yourself. She's always full of interesting ideas, she's always very encouraging, she's always there to share with you her triumphs and her sorrows. Befriending her was very eas...

Last night was Rylan's 26th birthday party. I went as Rosie the Riveter and was joined by other feminist icons such as the Paper Bag Princess (Tamara), Cat Woman (Janis), Wendy Darling (Nicole) and Satan as Britney Spears (Seth). It was a grand old time and fun was had by all. Steph, Jenn, and Dave joined in the fun later that night and it was SOOOO MUCH fun to see the three of them! They even ended up staying well past 2:00 in the morning! Here we see two white boys gettin' down to some Biggie. n.b.d.

'Cause I have a crush on someone new. It's stupid 'cause we've never even met in person, but there's something really genuine about him. We'd made plans to meet tonight, but he was called out to work out in east-central Alberta for the next 21 days, so he cancelled on Monday. We text tonight for a little bit and I'm floored by how much I giggle and melt at the things he says. And no, he's not overly sentimental or romantic; I'm not fawning over sweet-nothings. What I am fawning over is how genuine and kind and thoughtful he is; he strikes me as a true gentleman and, as clichéd as it sounds, it's made me like him even more. And what I'm learning now is that I'm no longer fixating when I get a crush. I'm learning to temper my expectations ( somewhat ) and to accept things as they happen. I'm no longer obsessing over the fact a boy doesn't like me and I'm learning -- slowly (but surely) -- that it's perfectly fine for...

This Friday was a gift. It taught me that even when the four of us have a disagreement (for lack of a better word), we care about one another and work hard to improve our relationship.  I love these three women with all of my heart. I honestly cannot imagine my life without their light and love. 

My dad's life is different. Not different in the bad sense, just different in the sense that he's done and seen and experienced certain wonders and events that not many would be privy to. He was involved in Guatemalan politics, was a minor-league soccer player, helped fund a library in a small village; the man has had a vast and varied career. Now that I'm trying to sort my dreams, I've realized that it doesn't matter how many dreams I have! Each and every one of them has potential; I just have to believe in myself. Instead of sitting around, panicking over the sheer enormity of some of my dreams -- feeling meek, intimidated, and alone -- I have the power to make all of my aspirations come true. I just need to get started. //Perspective.

As much as I'm hurting over everything that happened this weekend, I now have a more concrete understanding of certain emotions and situations. And yeah, it's going to hurt for at least a little while longer, but it's another experience; it's another perspective on life. I have a better understanding of mannerisms and facial quirks and rough edges and body heat. Yeah. It's going to hurt. But every defining moment in life comes with a little pain. And, as Bob Marley wisely said: "Truth is, everybody's going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." It was short-lived and it was wonderful. It was bursts of energy and euphoria. It was tenderness and frankness. It was a shooting star; a rogue wave; an avalanche. So much -- too much -- and yet not enough. Not enough. But I'll live.

There's a feeling of complete calm right now, despite my heart's fluttery and happy feeling and my tummy's coiling anticipation. It's a good day. It was a good Sunday and that goodness has transferred to today and I'm seeing the world in a sublime light. I couldn't even fault the sun's obnoxious rays this morning! The only thing that could improve my good mood is a rainstorm. (Prays for rain.) I've had good days, don't get me wrong, but today? Today is especially wonderful. My mouth won't stop quirking into a smile and I feel like hugging complete strangers. And I hope I can remember this feeling. No matter what happens, I hope I can hold onto it and I hope I can bask in this warmth for a long time. And I'm a happy person who finds smiling quite easy and who can focus on the positives in just about any situation, but this feeling? This insatiable need to smile? It's like my regular good mood times seventy. And I'm addicted to ...

I think people are drawn to angsty songs (especially angsty love songs) because it's easy to imagine ourselves in the singer's position. It's sexy and tragic and (a lot) self-serving to feel this sadistic need to feel the way that the singers do. I think I listen to a lot of angsty love songs in general. But the worst thing I do, is listen to happy up-beat music because it reminds me of someone I once loved. I mean, people usually listen to sad songs and cry, but no. I have to take it one step further and listen to a happy song because I want to feel miserable over some dude I was in love with once upon a time. Like. Why do I do that?

First Jamal. Now Cory. It all hurts so much. I can't even listen to music.

(Listed in order of importance) Television Shows -Orphan Black -Firefly -Parks and Rec -The IT Crowd -Les Revenants -Veronica Mars -Sherlock -Some Girls -Castle -Teen Wolf -The Newsroom* -Damages* Movies -Ruby Sparks* -Brief Interviews with Hideous Men* -Devil* -Thor -Captain America -Hulk -Crazy Stupid Love -Friends with Benefits -No Strings Attached -The Giant Mechanical Man* *Stupid Chris Messina.

We celebrated Nicole's roaring 20s before the Great Depression of turning 30 sets in in three years over the weekend. It was fun playing dress-up and, hey, I'll admit that it gave me the perfect excuse to buy the red lipstick I've been wanting to buy for the past three years. (Another push came in the form of an online article I read here .) Anyway, Nix always throws the most amazing parties. Look at the attention to detail! I was seriously geeking out over some of the stuff she did. Janis channels her inner Greta Garbo. Seth as Charlie Chaplin (especially loved his real 'stache!). Nix fashioned her sauna into a speakeasy.  Poisson rouge. Fab Four. Besties Five Ever. This was the best pic we took all night, in my opinion. Nix says this looks like a silent film poster about three best friends in the 20s: Janis is the cute, boy-crazy one, while Nix is the dramatic, wannabe actress, and I'm the sweet goofy...