Random Channel Surfing

Hello, Internet! It's been a hot minute, has it not? The last time I wrote was in  May . May: The month everything changed. I left my job, I started job hunting, I decided to go back to school, I decided to quit dating, I had a month-long panic attack that resulted in extreme vertigo, and I decided to actively pursue a career in writing. See? A  lot  of changes. Also: Nicole and Rylan are moving to Germany for two years while she gets her Masters. Yeah. I kept that to myself. Not for any specific reason, but more because I haven't wanted to share my friends' business. Add to this, the fact that I've been going through stuff. These last five months have been tough on me and it's made it hard for me to accept that things in my personal life are changing, too. So, I'm going to be completely honest. I'm not the same person I was a few months ago. Well, I  am  in the sense that I'm still me, but in terms of how I defined myself... fuck. I don't ...

I love Melissa at FUSS. I'm being 100% honest when I say that she is one of the few people on this planet I trust with my hair. She has great vision, great taste and is oh so cool :) So yeah... it's safe to say I like this change.

It was uber-long. I mean, I grew it out for a year and a half, got regular cuts to keep the ends from splitting, took great care of it, really, and to celebrate my 26th birthday, I'm cutting it all off! I'm ready for a change. So, I put it in a pony, braided it, and got my moms to chop it all off! It's a brand new year for me :)

So 2011 is upon us and it's weird... I feel as though this year will be my LAST year to get all my loose ends tied and finally make my dreams come true. Guess the reason for this is quite obvious: my plans for moving to Montreal in 2012... NEXT FUCKING YEAR! Like... REALLY. Mont-fucking-réal! I can hardly wait...! I love that city more than is natural. And to live there? After years of wanting this more than any other dream... It's unreal. So this year, I'll be buckling down. Crossing those Ts and dotting those Is... Ensuring that nothing will detain me from reaching my dream. I can't wait!

Today's just one of those days, y'know? Like, you're so happy, you feel like you could laugh and cry... like you could run a mile or fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. But at the same time, there's this really sad part inside of me that feels so empty and scared and... sad. My sister is engaged. She and her fiancé made it "official" today and I am so elated and I just want to smish her face all day. All she's ever wanted in life is to meet the perfect guy (for her) and make babies. And now her dream seems to be coming true. Honestly, she deserves this happiness and I always want her to smile like she was smiling today and I want to meet my future nieces and nephews and travel to Europe to see them... Oh, right. See? That's the problem. Once they get married, Pily is moving to Germany with her husband. EUROPE. So yeah. I'm beyond selfish. But I'm so scared. No more Pily to hear me bitch and moan about Glee... no more Pily to go fo...

No more regretting what you did. He was rude, selfish, cocky and he embarrassed you! So what if you won't get the pleasure of writing the GEs anymore? Who needs them? Trust. You'll be better without them.

I tend to be a homebody. I've had the same group of friends since I was 12 (same BEST friend since I was six). I am perceived as a bubbly, caring person. Most people don't realize that I'm shy until they see me around a cute boy (trufax and yes, very pathetic). But right now, seeing that all of my friends are moving out or are getting married or engaged, I feel very alone. Like everyone's crossed the finish line and I'm only on my first lap. It's tiring and I know it has everything to do with the fact that I'm going through yet another quarter-life crisis, but I really can't help it. Life is suffocating me and I need out. Only a few more thousand dollars to go and I can move to Montreal.

So, in my hurry to post on Muse, I forgot to mention that I've finally bought my ticket to Oz! :D Hahaha! Yep. I'm officially going to Australia with Tamara and Sean. It will be amaze-buckets. Une autre chose, le "gars" est en traîne de décider s'il va faire un voyage au Costa Rica, à l'Australie ou en Europe. Moi j'espère qu'il n'ira pas à l'Australie.

My Mels is gone.  No more North&South/Pride and Prejudice/Jane Eyre/Pixar-a-thons.  At least I got to see her off today. Granted I ran back and forth about 3 km today (no joke!) Working at the airport is a great workout. :) I am stoked about the family's trip to Guatemala this Christmas (chilling with Sebas, Nita, Gaby and my favourite niece and nephew will be spectacular!), but I now wish we were staying in Eddie-ton. I won't get to see Mel for LONG, extended periods of time until summer. Granted, we're planning our trip to the UK... and now, Justin's coming with us, so YAY! More people. I still miss her. Is this how my friends and family felt when I left for Montreal the second time? According to Char, yes. At least, now, I get it. Is it selfish to wish I was far away, too? 

I'm extremely blessed when it comes to friendship because, though I am shy, I am friendly and my friendliness has helped me bond with a varied group of ladies. Some of whom I've known for most of my life, others whom I've only known for a few short years.  Nevertheless, all of my friends are special to me and I am lucky for every single one of them. My best friend Melissa is going to Sheridan Institute  this fall and I'm beyond proud of her. Melissa is a loyal friend and her cynical attitude, though un peu too much  at times, definitely helps me laugh a lot more at myself. She's also super-interested in animation and, since I'm the biggest Disney fan in all of Edmonton (haha!), I go to every single kiddie movie with her. She's amazing that way. So grown up and ambitious, but able to fool around and get excited when discussing Sailor Moon ( Fighting evil by moonlight... winning love by daylight... ) Did I mention that she's an unbelievable artist ? She...

I am one of those *weird* individuals who cringe at the thought of change. You know the kind... they're content with the way things are and see change as an enemy intruder hell-bent on ruining everything. That was me until I "turned myself to face me." I have changed. I no longer see change as an adversary, but as a long-lost friend that I'm itching to see. Change, why don't you come visit me? I need you, Change. Crave you. Anticipate you. But needing and craving and anticipating this change are doing nothing. My life continues on this terribly mundane road and it will probably stay there for quite some time. How I wish I had the power to influence everything in my favour; that I could magically change my odds of finding a well-paying job in Montreal... Magically alter how I feel.  At least I can still dream... "And when your deepest thoughts are broken / Keep on dreaming boy 'cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die" ( Blind Melon ) He...

This was my FAVOURITE band growing up... Hahah! I'm so happy my musical tastes have changed but I must admit: I still feel the same jubilance I felt at age fourteen whenever I listen to this song. My friend Nicole and I never missed a concert or autograph signing... we loved Swollen Members like no one else. They played the Pawn Shop two weeks ago and it was the first Swollen show we missed. A small part of me wonders what it would have been like to be in the crowd. This blog post goes out to the Swollen Members... One of the few rap groups I ever liked.  What brings on this surge of wistfulness? My friend Brendan wrote to tell me that he bumped into MadChild at the Vancouver airport---he is now (quote) "old, fat, wears two watches and has all-Gucci luggage."  Ah, my youth...

So my 2009 - Year of the Many Trips plan is NOT going to work. My plans have had to change due to my new job at NAIT. Don't get me wrong--I am loving the place! Everyone is super-nice and friendly. Heck, we had cake my first day to celebrate all of the March birthdays (including mine!) Thing is, I have had to give up my trip to Europe (*ouch*) and MAY have to give up my trip to Brazil this fall... The only definite trip is my trip back to Montreal for Laura's wedding. This new job has forced me to look at my life (AGAIN!) and make some more changes. Like, I won't be moving to Montreal anytime in the near-future (fudge...), I won't be going on any awesome trips, either (shnikey!), and, maybe the biggest change of all: I am no longer employed by Cineplex Entertainment. While this change brings me tremendous happiness, I will no longer watch a movie for free. This is going to hurt my soul. I can see me on my next movie outing: a part of me shrivelling up and falling up ri...

Desde esté pinche momento... Lo juro, nunca MAS vuelvo a pensar en él.  Nunca mas vuelvo a recordar. Quién se cree él? "Voy a Banff! Mirame! Voy a Banff... pero no voy a avisarte..." OUCH. Sometimes, only Spanish can get my feelings across. 

How HOT will tonight be for this lovely couple?? eeeeeeeeeeee.  I can't help but feel a little sorry for Dubbya. His legacy will be forever debated...  He will be remembered by a crashing economy. He will be remembered for a war. And to be followed by Barack Obama. Yeah. It must be hard being George W. Bush today.

I read this book in grade twelve--one of the awesome book suggestions that Mr. Dvorak gave us (also on the list: Albert Camus' The Stranger )--and it's amazing how different things are today. "Colored" bathrooms... "Colored" water fountains... "Colored" restaurants. It leaves me awe-struck to know that ignorance caused so many people pain. Thank God things are different today. Thank God there is more racial understanding and that ignorance is not always heeded.  Life is not perfect, racial segregation is not completely obsolete, but things are changed.   Tomorrow will be amazing. The beginning of Barack Obama 's Presidency. How far we have come.