Random Channel Surfing

For close to fifteen years, September 21 has been a day of big events. I've had my heart broken on September 21 (twice); have moved clear across the country; have celebrated loved ones' happy occasions. But this year, nothing happened. In fact, I'll go as far as saying that today was a happy day. Thank goodness today was a good day.

It's easy for me to stay quiet to avoid confrontation because, you guessed it, I don't like confrontation; it scares me. I shy away from letting people look too closely into me lest they see how scarred and ugly I am deep deep deep inside. I rarely speak up. I love my comfort zone. Bravery is one trait I lack. But lately I've been realizing how detrimental that is to me. I want to change this, but I don't know how to do it. How does someone who's never been brave, grow a spine?

Wearing red lipstick does make you more visible. The correct terminology to use here is probably "noticeable", but for a shy girl like me, you definitely feel visible . I mean, let's be honest: you can't hide when you're sporting a bright, bold colour on your lips. People point it out sometimes and those who don't see you often may just say, "You're wearing more makeup than usual!" as though wearing lipstick is the same as slapping on three coats of foundation. [Cue eye roll] Wearing red lipstick teaches you how to properly apply lipstick. When you commit to wearing red lipstick every day for a full year, you need to learn how to properly apply it. That means that I learned the importance of investing in lip liner and actually used it. I learned how to apply lipstick so that it was long-lasting, so that the colour was bright, so that it was as bold as I was pretending to feel. (I only half-kid.) I also learned how many coats to apply, where...

I've written my first short story for my 2014 challenge. You can read it here . And I'm writing this, basically, to express the discomfort I feel for having written it. Most of what I write is at least partially based on events that happened to me; I'm not used to writing things from someone else's perspective. I've done it in the past, sure (several times on this blog, even!), but I'm more at ease when I'm writing about things that have actually -- physically and truly -- happened to me. So it was weird when I started about a dude who was literally dumped the day before his wedding. And it's not that I take issue with the subject matter, but it all felt so f   u       c           k               i                  n                      g forced . All that to say, I'm really happy that I'...

Most years we quietly celebrate Jenn's birthday; it's just us seven, we have some dinner, and then we go home. For her birthday this year, she asked one of her fellow nurses, Milly, to read our handwriting and interpret our personalities. Milly's interpretation of me was not that far off-base; she inferred that I'm reserved, prideful, loyal, hard-working, stubborn, and creative --- but she also told me that I can come off as "cold". Now, it's interesting to me that what stuck with me most is the fact she called me cold. Not the fact she correctly guessed that I like to feel people out before baring my thoughts to them. Not the fact she told me I'm creative, but am wasting my talents. Nope. What affected me most about her reading is that I can come off as cold to certain people. I've been called so many things in my life (haven't we all?), but the things I've been called in the past have always had a more... well, a positive spin. I...

A few weekends ago, my friend Anna married Rodrigo. In two short days, my friend Tamara will be marrying Sean. And in July, two more of my coupled friends will be tying the knot (Pasquale with Carmella, and Jen with Mark). It's a change for me; last year, I went to only one wedding, my cousin Quena's, and attended two funerals. And before Quena, I hadn't gone to a wedding since my sister Pily's in 2011. So you could say that this is a year for new beginnings and, while totally cliche, it's a thought that makes me smile. All around me people are falling in love and wanting to share their lives with the one they love most; it's inspiring and oh so sweet. I guess 2014 is officially the year of the happy couples. And that's a thought that makes me smile.

I'm very grateful that we never stop connecting with people. I admit that there are a handful of individuals I wish I was closer to, but I'm not going to focus on that because I can't really do anything to rectify it. What I can do, however, is bask in the happiness I feel over the friendships I made this year. And I'm amazed at just how many new friends I made. From getting friendlier with someone I was never friends with in high school (but reconnected with thanks to Melissa), to befriending my friends' friends and getting to know them on a more personal level, this has been a great year to connect with new people. And I'm feeling very thankful for each and every one of these new friends. Especially Mallory. Mallory is the kind of friend who makes you feel wonderful  about yourself. She's always full of interesting ideas, she's always very encouraging, she's always there to share with you her triumphs and her sorrows. Befriending her was very eas...