Random Channel Surfing

Tomorrow is my first day at a francophone temp agency. I never wanted to be without a job for this long, but I didn't want to apply for any longterm positions lest the job interfered with my plans to go to Guatemala. 'Cause this trip? Oh. It's happening. I'm going to fly out on November 7 and I won't be back until December 18. That's 41 days of exploration and (dare I say it?) self-reflection. Whenever I think about this trip, I'm overcome with happy feelings and thoughts. This just goes to show how much I've longed for travel these last months. I'm excited and jittery--in a good way!--and I'm curious to see what happens to my life. Will things feel more centred? Will I have a better sense of what I want out of life? Will I finally grow that spine I've been lacking since infancy? Because I can be brave when I have to be, but that's not my permanent state of being. When it comes to feeling vulnerable and raw, open and exposed, I need...

This is a picture of the last plane ticket I used. It was for my return flight from Frankfurt on December 28, 2015. In 2015, I took a LOT of trips. I flew to Orlando with Tamara, Sean, and Joe. I flew to Vancouver to spend some time with Mel. I flew to St. Louis to visit Cristiane, Brad, Patrick, and Claire. I flew to New York City with Tasha to explore the city. And, finally, I flew to Frankfurt to spend Christmas with the fam. In total, I took 23 flights that year to take me from Point A (YEG) to Point B (my many destinations). Eek. I took a picture of this ticket because I wanted to commemorate it. I wanted to commemorate it because I swore to myself that I wasn't going to fly in 2016.   I made this promise in order to be more conscientious about the environmental strain my many trips was putting on the planet.  Since this flight, I haven't boarded a single plane and, while I've missed flying and exploring, it's been a good break.  Today is Guatemala...

So I've decided that I'm not going to Guatemala this year. I know I hadn't announced it on here, but for my own sake, I am doing it now. And there's several reasons why going now wouldn't be a good thing for me: I want to buy my own place, so I want to save up; I want to take shorter trips to visit family and friends; I wanted to go to Guatemala for an extended period and I hadn't really made any plans to go this year; and, most importantly, going back to Guatemala could lead to a relapse of my eating fears. Let's face it, as much as I love my family, they're wont to make comments on my body and size and it's often led to me doing one of two things: I binge-eat and gain weight or I stop eating. Ever since December 2012, I've had this fear that I'm slowly reverting back to my anorexia and my fluctuating weight is a good indicator. Since 2012, I've lost 20 pounds and some people have noticed. I've noticed, too, because thoughts ...

It's pretty much guaranteed that I'll be doing volunteer work at an orphanage in Guatemala later this year. And it's slightly terrifying to think that I'm going to realize this wish so quickly. It's slightly terrifying to think that I'm going to leave Canada for x amount of time and that I won't see any of my friends for this whole time. It's slightly terrifying to know that this is something I want. But at the same time, I'm bursting with excitement at the prospect of leaving Canada and immersing myself in Guatemalan culture. I'm delighted to think that I'll be spending time with my cousins, aunts, uncles, family . I cannot wait to help the people of Guatemala, my people, for this time; I'm looking forward to it. And who knows, really. I might decide to stay. I might fall in love with that city the same way I fell in love with Montreal. I might decide that staying there is what is best for me in the long run. I need a break from Cana...

There's too much I don't understand about my heritage; too much I want to understand about my heritage. And this seed has been germinating since my entire family (sisters, brother-in-law, parents, and niblings) went to Guatemala in December 2009, where Cristiane's best friend Ceci and her husband explained to me how you can rent bungalows in Flores, near the Mayan pyramids, for a pretty fair price; has been germinating since I realized that so much about the way I behave -- polite to the extreme -- is a mix of my two cultural identities. Canadians are known for their polite, over-apologetic nature, but Guatemalans are the same way. So when you think about it, my behaviour is an effect of those  two cultures. I am  two times more likely to go out of my way to help a stranger; two times more likely to over-thank someone for a favour. And it's not that I don't want to be in Edmonton. It's not that I've given up on my idea of moving to Montreal. It's not...

I've made a list of cities I want to see next year. Montreal, Toronto, New York, Flores, Guatemala... I think it's doable, too. If I go see Mel in Ontario for my birthday in March, and I go to Montreal with the girls and guys in August, I could potentially go to New York after our stint in Montreal. Cut to October/November 2014, when a trip to see the old familia is doable. Yes. Yes. I quite like this plan o'mine.

Having worked at a theatre, I'm exceedingly spoiled when it comes to movie prices. I'm not used to paying... AT ALL. So, last Thursday when I went to watch (500) Days of Summer , I was elated that my former manager let me in free of charge. Oh, how I love freebies! Anyway, this quirky, insightful and deep movie has been added to my list of favourite movies... Joining movie greats like Lars and the Real Girl, Little Miss Sunshine, Juno, and Little Miss Sunshine. It's one of those movies that has a million-and-one meanings... that is to say, that while certain themes are more prelavent to you, the person next to you might see others. It's one of those optimistically realistic movies that make your heart smile. In short, I found that it was believable and true. Even if I had paid $12.50 to watch Zooey Deschanel work her cuteness and Joseph Gordon-Levitt charm his way back into my heart (10 Things I Hate About You, anyone?), I know that I would have adored this movie. In ot...

Though I lost my journal in Montreal this last visit, I can't help but look back at our sojourn with happiness. What's there to frown at?  Even the rain was inspiring in its incessant downpour. Even our trip to our nation's capital was memorable. My sister is brave; she is never worried about getting lost or stopping to ask for directions. I wish we had taken more family trips when I was younger, but looking back on my childhood, it was never possible. We were always busy with our own preoccupations. Even now I'm amazed that all of us (including my sister and her family in the US) are going to Guatemala for Christmas.  In any case, here are a few memories from my trip to my future home... It was an outdoor wedding and regrettably, it was not a good day for any sort of outdoor activity as it was raining all day.  The wedding was held at a place called "Au Pied de la Colline" and the place was magical... despite the rain, the skies cleared just as Laura arrived...

This list is a compilation of the things I want to accomplish before my (and maybe Nicole's) big move to Guatemala. Decide what Graduate school I want to attend... (Queens, UWO, U of T...?) Get three (if lucky!) articles or short stories published...!! (I only have two articles published, so I need to pad my portfolio). Start working on my novel (idea down... x  number of words to go....) Get my citizenship card back... *grumble* Get my degree! (huzza!!) Live on my own. Get more work experience (not just as a theatre slave....) Get a part-time job working with VUE or SEE Weekly. Talk to my Aunt's CNN correspondent friend... Maybe he'll hire me (!) hahaha! Plan out my/our travel map (Mexico, El Salvador, Honduras, Belize, Costa Rica, Guatemala are definite destinations but... where else??) It's going to be great living in Guatemala again. Nicole has been saying that she wants to go with me, but only time will tell how serious she is about this. I mean, let's be pe...