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Today's just one of those days, y'know? Like, you're so happy, you feel like you could laugh and cry... like you could run a mile or fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. But at the same time, there's this really sad part inside of me that feels so empty and scared and... sad. My sister is engaged. She and her fiancé made it "official" today and I am so elated and I just want to smish her face all day. All she's ever wanted in life is to meet the perfect guy (for her) and make babies. And now her dream seems to be coming true. Honestly, she deserves this happiness and I always want her to smile like she was smiling today and I want to meet my future nieces and nephews and travel to Europe to see them... Oh, right. See? That's the problem. Once they get married, Pily is moving to Germany with her husband. EUROPE. So yeah. I'm beyond selfish. But I'm so scared. No more Pily to hear me bitch and moan about Glee... no more Pily to go fo...

I tend to be a homebody. I've had the same group of friends since I was 12 (same BEST friend since I was six). I am perceived as a bubbly, caring person. Most people don't realize that I'm shy until they see me around a cute boy (trufax and yes, very pathetic). But right now, seeing that all of my friends are moving out or are getting married or engaged, I feel very alone. Like everyone's crossed the finish line and I'm only on my first lap. It's tiring and I know it has everything to do with the fact that I'm going through yet another quarter-life crisis, but I really can't help it. Life is suffocating me and I need out. Only a few more thousand dollars to go and I can move to Montreal.

So, in my hurry to post on Muse, I forgot to mention that I've finally bought my ticket to Oz! :D Hahaha! Yep. I'm officially going to Australia with Tamara and Sean. It will be amaze-buckets. Une autre chose, le "gars" est en traîne de décider s'il va faire un voyage au Costa Rica, à l'Australie ou en Europe. Moi j'espère qu'il n'ira pas à l'Australie.

And I'm still not all that "wise." So what have I learned this past year in respect to the past, present, future, death, growth, my dreams and life in general? I've learned that I am even MORE romantic than I'd originally thought; that I dream big, but have my feet firmly on the ground; and that I spend more time reveling in the future and analyzing the past to really enjoy the present. My to-do list for the next year is to focus on the here and now. Enjoy being stuck in Deadmonton and keep my sights on Montreal. Sure, it won't be a while until I can move East, but I know I'll get there. As Paulo Coelho says in The Alchemist , "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." It's only a matter of being patient.

So my 2009 - Year of the Many Trips plan is NOT going to work. My plans have had to change due to my new job at NAIT. Don't get me wrong--I am loving the place! Everyone is super-nice and friendly. Heck, we had cake my first day to celebrate all of the March birthdays (including mine!) Thing is, I have had to give up my trip to Europe (*ouch*) and MAY have to give up my trip to Brazil this fall... The only definite trip is my trip back to Montreal for Laura's wedding. This new job has forced me to look at my life (AGAIN!) and make some more changes. Like, I won't be moving to Montreal anytime in the near-future (fudge...), I won't be going on any awesome trips, either (shnikey!), and, maybe the biggest change of all: I am no longer employed by Cineplex Entertainment. While this change brings me tremendous happiness, I will no longer watch a movie for free. This is going to hurt my soul. I can see me on my next movie outing: a part of me shrivelling up and falling up ri...

Do you remember those annoying Pull-Ups commercials?  "Mommy WOW! I'm a big kid now!" Well... I have my first official big girl job interview this Friday. *Gulp* I'm petrified.  On the one hand, I might get it. That means I'll be tied down to a JOB, won't be able to move to Montreal until at least next year, will probably have to quit the theatre OR only work weekends (meaning I'll give up all of my free time... ew).... On the other hand, I don't get it. I'll be stuck at Cineplex for at least another year (or year and a half... ew!... which will make me feel like a major failure) and won't further my career goals, or have enough money to move to Montreal, and therefore will stay an immature 22 year-old, and will feel like shite.  Whatever happens, I won't like the outcome all that much.  Being a graduate sucks balls. 

How HOT will tonight be for this lovely couple?? eeeeeeeeeeee.  I can't help but feel a little sorry for Dubbya. His legacy will be forever debated...  He will be remembered by a crashing economy. He will be remembered for a war. And to be followed by Barack Obama. Yeah. It must be hard being George W. Bush today.

I read this book in grade twelve--one of the awesome book suggestions that Mr. Dvorak gave us (also on the list: Albert Camus' The Stranger )--and it's amazing how different things are today. "Colored" bathrooms... "Colored" water fountains... "Colored" restaurants. It leaves me awe-struck to know that ignorance caused so many people pain. Thank God things are different today. Thank God there is more racial understanding and that ignorance is not always heeded.  Life is not perfect, racial segregation is not completely obsolete, but things are changed.   Tomorrow will be amazing. The beginning of Barack Obama 's Presidency. How far we have come.

Another trip has been added to my "definite" pile: The Garcias are going to Rio de Janeiro in September!! HUZZA! This is what awaits me: Ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to go to Brazil. My parents lived there for two years and my oldest sister was born there, so I grew up listening to Brazilian music, listening to my parents speak Portuguese, and living in jealousy of my sister's cool background. And now, I get to go to Rio! Huzza!

It has been decided that I will go to Montreal at the end of June with my mother and two sisters. From Montreal, I will travel to Europe with my friend Melissa and her friend Kris. I am stoked beyond belief! During our Europe excursion, we will travel to Ireland, England, France, Spain and Italy. Huzza. I can't wait!

I applied for my dream job.  I had the interview already. It's in Montreal. I should have stayed. I still don't know if I'm going to get the job. It would be beyond awesome if I did, but I'm here... the job's there. Who knows what will happen. I'm beginning to wonder if the memories I have of this summer are as significant as I thought they were. I'm feeling isolated from the rest of Edmonton--even my best friends seem distant. I'm going through another one of my existential crises... Surprise, surprise. If you want to see my dream job's site, click here . 

This list is a compilation of the things I want to accomplish before my (and maybe Nicole's) big move to Guatemala. Decide what Graduate school I want to attend... (Queens, UWO, U of T...?) Get three (if lucky!) articles or short stories published...!! (I only have two articles published, so I need to pad my portfolio). Start working on my novel (idea down... x  number of words to go....) Get my citizenship card back... *grumble* Get my degree! (huzza!!) Live on my own. Get more work experience (not just as a theatre slave....) Get a part-time job working with VUE or SEE Weekly. Talk to my Aunt's CNN correspondent friend... Maybe he'll hire me (!) hahaha! Plan out my/our travel map (Mexico, El Salvador, Honduras, Belize, Costa Rica, Guatemala are definite destinations but... where else??) It's going to be great living in Guatemala again. Nicole has been saying that she wants to go with me, but only time will tell how serious she is about this. I mean, let's be pe...