A Sweet Convo with the Baby Niece
Me: "Julis, I miss you." Julis: "You miss me? You should come live here." Maybe I should leave Edmonton.
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April 2017
March was kind of a bust, but it did reinforce one thing to me: I have the most supportive, loving, and kind-hearted people in my life. Thank you, family and friends. (I feel that I don't say it often enough.) Now that we're 10 days into April, I'm thinking that 2017 is kind of, sort of, maybe, possibly getting better. (I think.) It's not easy for me to ask for help, but you've all come through for me. I know you guys don't follow this blog, but I hope you know that everything you've done for me has meant the world to me. I appreciate you all and I thank you for your love and understanding. Thank you. #MotivationMonday #IJustNeededAnExcuseToPostThisPictureOfAFlowerHeHe
memento: an object or item that serves to remind one of a person, past event, etc.; keepsake; souvenir.
I'm so happy I live in a time where cameras are fairly standard; I mean, some people have a fancy camera that they use for documenting travels or family holidays, but the majority of cell phone users have another, more easy-to-use camera on their mobile phones. And the quality of the shots you take on your camera phone is improving with every new smartphone that comes out. I document my outings with friends so that we can have a small glimpse of those happy moments preserved for time. I photograph my nieces and nephew so that they can remember how happy their childhood was. The reason I document those moments when I'm most happy, is so I can re-live those happy occasions time and again. Photographs are frozen memories; how I long to live in one, re-living the happiness I felt day in and out. Thirteen years ago, I came to the realization that my parents have only a handful pictures of me as a baby. I was hurt, to be honest, because it seemed as though my parents couldn't...
When you miss someone, it's impossible to stop thinking of them.
My sister and niece went back home to Germany yesterday and I've had a sad feeling in my heart ever since. Everywhere I look, I see signs that they were here. Every memento they left is a reminder of their absence. I honestly didn't think that I would miss them this much. Update: I just crawled into bed and found a thank-you card and Toblerone bar from my sister. *cries* I miss her so muh-huh- huuuuuch !
Of first crushes (and the feelings that come with them...)
My eleven-year-old nephew has his first crush. The girl's name is Sarah and they've been buds since the first grade. She's one of his good friends, "one of the boys." Most days, he plays with her at recess. Most days, he'll bring her up in casual conversation: "Sarah has that sweater" or "Sarah's favourite Harry Potter book is Prisoner of Azkaban ." It's equal parts endearing and heartbreaking to hear the shyness in his voice, to see the tenderness in his eyes. Equal parts. It's endearing because this is my nephew; I changed his diapers, made his bottles, kissed his boo-boos, and read him bedtime stories. To see him experience his first crush is oddly humbling; here is this boy who's experiencing love for the first time. Every time he brings her up touches my heart; warms me from the inside out. Reminds me that love comes whether you want it to or not; it has no agenda. It's heartbreaking because I know how this p...
My baby cousin is going to play at Vive Latino!
This dude: This dude used to terrorize me when we were little. Allegedly. I don't remember much about our toddler years, other than the fact he had the sweetest curls and would follow our cousin Lucia and me around. Well anyway, after growing out of his (alleged) toddler bullying, hyper-aggressive ways, he's grown up to be an upstanding gentleman and I'm ever so proud of him and this amazing achievement! I mean, he'll be playing at a music festival in which Arcade Fire, NIN, AFI, of Montreal, Cut Copy etc, etc will play! I'm positively geeking out over this! This is huge for my baby cuz! He's been drumming since we were teenagers and I would always send him music in care packages to feed his love and appreciation for punk music and now... he's going to play in front of literally thousands and at a huge international scale to boot, too! His band Los Tiros is one of the two Guatemalan bands that are going to Vive Latino. They're a mi...
My oldest sister is officially in her 40s. This fact is making me feel old somehow... I love both my sisters; each of them has inspired me in such different ways and I treasure the time I spend with them both. And while my relationship with each of them is unique, I know that the relationship I have with Cristiane is special. We were always friends. When I was 18 months old, she went to visit my aunt Amparo for a few months in Mexico. When she came back, my parents say I rested my head on her shoulder, started to cry, and said her name ("Ki") over and over. When I was 13 and suffering through my first broken heart, she was the first one to take me to the kids' bookstore on Whyte Ave (Greenwoods' Small World), so that I could get my mind off my unrequited crush. And even on those rare occasions that my parents left her in charge of Pily and me, she was my friend first, my guardian second. And I think that's created a very special bond between us. A ...
Promise
If I ever marry a white man and we have passing white children, I will do everything in my power to ensure that our children are aware of their white privilege; that they will advocate for other minorities; that they will empathize and relate with minorities; that they will speak out when they see injustice; that they are kind, compassionate, and see that human suffering is not something we should ignore. Because if I ever marry a white man and we have passing white children, I don't want them to ignore the half of them that's brown; the half of them that's buried within the whiteness; the part of them that's painted over. If I ever marry a white man. If I ever have passing white children. I promise.
