Random Channel Surfing

So after a long search for someone to go to concerts with, my friend Lucina is officially my concert buddy. This is the same girl that I would see every time Nix and I would go to a show. She and her sister Fabiana are as music obsessed as we were back in the day and it's nice to know that Lucina is still trying to keep going to shows, despite the fact her sister moved away to Toronto this past year. Last night Lucina and I met at The Artery to support Bedouin Soundclash's front man's new project: Jay Malinowski and the Deadcoast. I got there earlier than we'd agreed (social anxiety makes me overly punctual) and I settled in, ruminating over the fact that the majority of Edmonton's population are hipsters in flannel and beanie hats. Or, at least that's what the audience last night would have you believe. The Artery is a fairly small venue and I'd been there previously for my friend Sean's band's CD release party last February. It had been packed...

And it's not because I don't feel anything for you anymore. In the quiet of the night, I can still admit that I care for you. I deny my feelings only when a mutual friend asks me if I still care for you. Deny deny deny. Deny it so well that I convince myself that all I felt for you is gone. That no remnants of you remain in my heart. And it's not because all of my questions have been answered. I still wonder what was going through your head all along. I still wonder what I did to push you away, or if you ever pulled away at all. I sometimes self-sabotage. Did I do it again with you? Self-sabotage is a funny thing, isn't it? I've done it so many times it's a reflex now. And it's not because my issues with how things played out have been resolved. I fantasize about what would have happened if I'd stayed away from you from the get-go. I still wonder what might have happened if I'd acted braver, or if I'd been more honest with myself. I admit tha...

I was right about Outkast, Lorde, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Foster the People, Haim, Arctic Monkeys, Cut Copy, and the 1975. Kinda bummed that none of France's "biggest acts" are on the board. *whomp whomp* So. We gotta wait 140 days before we leave on July 30. Soon .

Predictions Outkast Seeing as they're slated to play ~40 festivals this year, it makes sense to assume that Big Boi and André 3000 would make an appearance at Osheaga. Not to mention the fact that Big Boi played last year and, per Nix's reasoning, he did it so he could scout out the place in case he and André decided to reunite. Logic. I know for a fact that both Janny and Nix would delight if they did! Lorde Seeing as she's playing Coachella, I just figure she'll be at Osheaga. I don't see why she wouldn't. Besides, she hasn't announced any dates past April for her world tour and the fact she's keeping those dates under wraps/unconfirmed makes me think she's not allowed to publicize them until the festival lineups come out. Make sense? I know I'd be S-T-O-K-E-D right the fuck out if I saw her live. Chick is awesome. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds I think that Rylan is going to see them with Dustin when they're in town this year, but I f...

I didn't think I would celebrate my birthday this year. I thought March 4th would be a quiet day; no work, all sleep, some reading, a lot of vegging. I am happy to say that my expectations were 100% off. Originally, I thought I was meeting with Nicole, Rylan, and Char and her new guy for drinks after 7:00. That was the plan. Nicole would pick me up on her way home and we'd meet Char's new boo. So she picks me up and we meet with Rylan and all the while Nix is freaking out because we're late, but I keep reminding her that it will all be okay. That Char knew she had a late meeting. It never occurred to me that she was freaking out because of me. So we find parking and the three of us walk into the Pour House on Whyte and, lo and behold: My friends are all there! Jenn, Dave, Dustin, Wyatt, Janis, Tasha, and my dearest Char. When I turned around, Nix was smiling and it never once crossed my mind that my friends would go to all that trouble of throwing me a birthday ...

Promise me that this coming year will be a year of accomplishments and an abundance of happiness. Swear that you will be open and let love, in all its forms, into your life. That you will not cower in fear of the unknown, but will meet it head-on. Dear heart, please don't be a chicken. Don't play it safe. Don't lock people out. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't self-sabotage. Don't build castles in the sky. Don't put him on a pedestal. Don't read into anything. Don't get ahead of yourself. Don't expect things to play out a certain way. Admit when you are happy. Admit when you feel loved-up. Admit to those secret dreams you say you're too cynical to want. Admit that certain aspects of your life are wanting. Admit that you have work to do. Admit that you are fallible. Admit that things don't always pan out the way we planned, and that's okay. That's okay. Dear heart, please accept things as they come. Please be braver. Pleas...