Plane Ride Text Editing

So I'm on the plane back home. I'm praying that it'll miraculously land back in Montréal as opposed to Edmonton.

Fuck. You cannot imagine how crushed I am to be away from Montréal. I have hardly stopped crying. I'm just thankful I didn't cry in front of anyone (except for everyone on my flight, that is!).

It's so pathetic. Last night, as soon as I turned off the lights, I couldn't control the mother-fucking tears and I had to bite my cheeks so I wouldn't sob.

My heart was so overwhelmed with cold... It actually scared me because the rest of my body felt numb--it felt completely chilled. My fingers, my feet, my arms and torso... everywhere. Even my scalp!

I laid in my twin-sized bed and let it all out. I haven't cried myself to sleep since I was a little girl... and now, at the age of 22, I feel homesick for a city that isn't my home. 

Why did this summer have to be so incredible? Why did the people have to be so amazing? Why did I have to learn so much... about myself, about what I want, about life?

My roommate asked my why I chose to leave when I could stay. I told him it was impractical to stay. Impractical to just abandon my Flory, my Hector, my sister and my friends. Just ditch my old life and stay in Montréal. Besides, how would I make money...? He answered: "My scholarship hasn't been deposited."

Random.

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