Of My Taste in Men

I used to think I had good taste in men. After all, I usually fall for guys who are pleasant; earnest in every way. Good guys. (Not to be confused with Nice Guys™.) But upon deep reflection, I have realized that I have yet to meet a truly good man.

(For me, that is.)

That's not to say that my friends are not good men; hell no. In fact, I'm starting to realize that my male friends may be the only good men I know (apart from my own father). But whenever I meet a potential leading man, I idealize him and ignore the warning signs that point to him not being quite-the-good-man-I've-made-him-out-to-be.

In actuality, things go this way:

Step 1 

I see attractive dude. 

Step 2 

I sputter when speaking to said attractive dude. 

Step 3 

I replay our conversation over and over and analyze it to death. 

Step 4 

I fantasize different scenarios involving said attractive dude.  

Step 5 

I see attractive dude again.  

Step 6 

I imagine he's perfect and was put on this planet for me. 

So there really is no chance for me to get to know the real man. You know? I never allow myself the time to see whether they are a good fit for me and I never determine whether or not they are a good person for me. I usually skip the get-to-know-him part and just get to the "he's perfect and I want him now" part. It's not ideal for anyone, let alone me (a human who wants to meet her person). And putting people on pedestals is counterproductive chiefly because people can sense this level of hero worship and it makes them uncomfortable, so they pull away.

If I were to relax and let my relationships with men grow on their own -- just let the relationship breathe (in... out... in... out... in... out...), let it marinate -- I may actually meet my match. But so far my taste in men seems impeccable, too good to be true. They are based in fantasy.

Food for thought, is it not?