Tummy's in knots. Heart's in overdrive. Tears well up.

I'm a mess. So scared and anxious and unbelievably frustrated. Will I have immunity? Will I stand up for myself?

Fuckity-Fuck-Fuckery.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Another Movie Soundtrack post

I've filled this out a few times in the past, but I figured now that 2013 is coming to a close, I might as well do it again. Rules: 1) Turn on your iPod. 2) Change settings to "Shuffle". 3) Press play! 4) For every category, type the title of the song that plays. 5) Hit the "Next" button and DO NOT skip. 6) DON'T LIE! ***************************************************** Opening credits:  St. Peter's Cathedral (Death Cab for Cutie - Codes and Keys) First day at a new job:  Tonight, Tonight (Passion Pit - Cover of Smashing Pumpkins' song) Falling In Love:  Collect Call (Metric - Fantasies) Fight Song:  Mutt (Blink-182 - Enema of the State) Breaking Up:  Miscommunication (Timbaland [feat. Keri Hilson and Sebastian] - Timbaland Presents: Shock Value) House Party:  Junk of the Heart (The Kooks - Junk of the Heart) Life:  I Want to Know What Love Is (Foreigner - Agent Provocateur) Mental breakdown:  Police and Thie...
Read more

Doesn't matter what's going on in my life, I can pretty much guarantee that I will listen to my pride and fear over every other emotion.

I don't trust my gut instincts. They've led me astray too often; have set me up for heartache one time too many. So whenever some little voice inside me urges me to do something, I remember the shame I felt when my instincts were so flawed. My pride comes to my defense and tells me to stay put; I don't need to follow my gut instincts. And those times when it seems like following my heart is a safe bet, I feel the sadness I felt when things fell through. I feel it as strongly as if it had happened yesterday. So when my fear approaches me and cautions me that I don't want to live through that sadness and anxiety again, I listen to it and do nothing. Who needs gut instincts when self-preservation always wins out?
Read more