Random Channel Surfing

She bit her bottom lip, focusing on the pain that her teeth caused on her tender flesh instead of the inadequacy she felt. Tears welled in her dark brown eyes and she could feel the knot in her throat tighten. Why? She sighed—trying to normalize her awkward breathing. Her jaw unwillingly clenched and finally, she met his gaze. She knew then that she would never see him again. Never would she hear his awkward footsteps in the morning. Creaking floorboards and rolling chairs. Never. Never. Why? His hazel eyes were dry, smiling warmly down at her. They noticed the tears and concern quickly took them over. He leaned in close. “Qu’est qu’y a?” Again, she couldn’t say anything. For months she had harboured an innocent crush on the tall boy. For months she had learned his quirks and mannerisms; loving everyone of them. She knew him better than she had ever known another guy simply due to the fact that they had shared the same roof. “Nothing,” she managed to choke… blinking the tears into obli

Today is a bleaugh day.  It sucks more than a blah day. Is worse than a blugh day. I actually came home early today because I didn't feel good. Why am I under the weather? Who the fuck knows. My stomach is restless, my heart keeps skipping a beat (almost like when something EXCITING is about to happen...), and my fingers hurt. Pourquoi? I don't know but I have an idea. {I really hope it's not the flu!!} I don't think music or soccer can fix me today. The only solution is to sleep, sleep and sleep.....

If there was a game about wasting time, I would be the High Scorer, bar none. At the moment, I am a tad overwhelmed. One might say that I brought this upon myself and ordinarily, I would take offense to this statement. This time, however, I heartily agree. Fuck. There is so much shit that I have to do before I go back to Edmonton and, heh! I leave for E-Ville in three weeks. THREE weeks. FuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUck. Nothing a well thought out list can't fix. Thing is, I have to remember to include chill time in my list, because if I don't schedule some relaxation time, I will forget to take breaks. Oh my. It is going to be a very long week.

Question: Do you know what's especially annoying?? Answer: Not really knowing yourself. I am a random person by nature. I like to think of myself as a dichotomy --Most of the time I contradict myself because of this duality. At times I feel as if this is attributable to the fact that I am a Latin American woman from Guatemala who has been blessed to grow up in Canada... possibly one of the most culturally different countries from Guatemala. I am a Latina, but how I think is very Canadian. At the moment, I am realizing that this teetering back and forth is due to the fact that I have no clue who I am. I often wonder, am I Latina or Canadian? Do I think that this is the right way, or is it the other way? The great news is that I haven't been teetering back and forth as much this summer. I don't know if it's because I'm too busy enjoying myself or because I've actually GROWN this summer. I actually know that I am ten times more mature than when I left for

This is insane. And in other news, this is more common than I thought. I am screwed. 

I am going to Radiohead on August 6, 2008. How awesome is that?? I swear, Montreal is (to quote Lucina) "where the party's at." She's thinking about coming to McGill for school and I said she should do it! Montreal is beyond amazing. Why can't everyone live here (everyone I know and love, I mean)?!?! Anyway, the two roommates and I went for dinner this Monday. It was very cool chilling with the two of them because I really only talk to Paul most of the time since Marc's always busy. We had a pretty chill night and well, I hate to use the word "bonded", but we did! :) Paul and I had already bonded (having walked home in the rain late one Sunday night) but chill-time with Marc has been almost non-existent. He has great taste in music (he was at the Death Cab concert in June) and how can I NOT get along with people who like the same music that I do?!?! He even sang some Bedouin, hahaha! ("Ouais, je connais Bedouin Soundclash... 'When the ni

A tech writing company here in Montreal is hiring. You heard me. A tech writing company here in Montreal is hiring... HIRING!!  I know I only took Tech I, so the odds of me getting the effing job are SUPER slim, but... if I don't try, I'll never know. I know I'll be forever asking myself "What if...?" Ah well. You never know. Besides, if I get it, where will I live??? Hahaha, I can't live with Marc, Nicolas, Alexis and Maxime... they're already packed as it is! Maybe since Alex is potentially staying, he and I could room together...??? Ah, I hate it when my overactive imagination goes crazy and automatically goes into fantasy mode...! Although Alex would be a kick-ass roommate... I'm only saying...  In unrelated news,  WHY am I so effing fickle?!?!?!?! 

This is what I said as I dragged my suitcase down one flight of stairs the day my roommates and I moved. FEWF! 'Twas hard. This is what I am currently saying today... damn. Why couldn't I just leave it alone?? Now if I'm mean, things won't go as planned. Merde.

I am confused.  The way karma works is what you do to others, will be done onto you, right? Okay, so if you're an asshole to someone, another person will be the same to you, right? Alright, so ... I shouldn't be an ass to anybody. Fair enough. I hate not knowing how to handle a situation. I really don't want to be a bitch to anyone.

My roommate Paul and I got into a debate about lyricism. He made fun of my love of bands who had "sucky" musicians (meaning that they're well-rounded and can play more than one instrument VERY FUCKING WELL) who write weak lyrics. That got me thinking, who is the lyrical top dog at the moment?? One could argue that, while my love for Bedouin runs eons (haha, get it?) deep, Jay lacks some lyrical insight (but for a young artist, he still has more chops than many others! I love you, Bedouin) and the Foos have never been known for their lyricism (even though "Everlong" will forever make chills run up and down my body...) and The Bravery is more catchy than insightful. Hmmm... So that got me thinking even more, WHY DO I LOVE MUSIC?? I used to think that it was due to the lyrics, but now that Paul has got me thinking, I realise that all my favourite bands have one major trait in common: I have witnessed their blinding brilliance in person. I have been touched

Too bad Nicole had to leave for New York. :( She is such a sweetheart. I packed her a snack and wrote her a note thanking her for having come to visit me and what do I find when I get home??? A note from her thanking me for having her over. How could I not have her visit me??? The more time passes, the more I realise how important Nicole is in my life. We've done a lot of STUPID shit together, but they have been milestones in our lives and friendship. She's the Doug to my Steve Butabi.  Who doesn't want a friend like that???

I hate being ill. My chest is congested, my nose is gross, I had a fever on Sunday. Ugh. Nicole is leaving tomorrow. We took so many awesome pictures... TOO BAD I LOST MY CAMERA, CELL PHONE, AND ID ALL ON THE SAME FUCKING NIGHT! As you can see, I'm a tad pissed off at my stupidity. How could I do that?? I'm not very smart sometimes. Anyways, everythings solvable, thank God. I have a scanned copy of my driver's license and Alberta Health Care card which I must send to Alberta ASAP, and I have my old cell phone. My parents are Fed-Exing it over : ) But still. My memories of Nicole and my escapades! All gone! How tragic. Why can't people be honest and NOT take peoples' stuff?? Is it really that hard to get a job, make money and BUY your own shit? I guess it is. Idiots (I mean me and the thief that has my phone!). Anyways, the same weekend I lost all of my shit, "dude I thought was cute" wanted to chill. Weird. Guys here are decent. (Do I feel a BUT coming on.