Random Channel Surfing

I used to loathe having to dress up on Halloween for work. My coworkers thought I was a killjoy and would be annoyed if I didn’t participate, but I just wasn't comfortable. I mean, sure, my boss and everyone else was decked out in their costumes, but I just didn't want any part of it. Although, to be fair, I used to loathe having to dress up for Halloween in general. After my 14th birthday, I just didn’t see the point to costumes and make believe if I wasn’t getting anything out of it (and by that I mean candy. I do a LOT of things of things I don’t want to do for candy). So I would go as "me" to parties, opting to spend the night in, watching horror flicks or my favourite Halloween movies. The last three years, though, I’ve really gotten into the Halloween spirit! I blame Rylan, who’s birthday is on October 31st, for this. The year Nicole officially moved into her house, she hosted a birthday party for Rylan, which started the tradition of celebrating Rylan'

Not entirely out of order, but not entirely in order either. Remind myself how problematic he is (counting calories, misaligning political ideologies, racist comments, etc) Delete his phone number from my phone. Avoid places and events I know he's attending. Repeat the words, "God, I hate him" whenever I think about him. Convince myself I'll never see him again. Imagine that his breath is nas ty = crush almost over. Make a secret playlist of songs that remind me of him. Write a list of why he sucks. Rationalize why we wouldn't work out. Get sad when Nicole challenges this belief. Imagine him with another woman who -- in my mind -- is a better fit for him than I would be. Help him romance said woman. Get sad when Nicole challenges this belief (yes, this happens twice for two different reasons).  Force myself to like someone new whilst I simultaneously... Avoid the opposite sex like it's my part-time job. Take a trip or two or five. Drown m

It's a new soundtrack  I could dance to this beat  Forever more  The lights are so bright  But they never blind me  Welcome to New York  It's been waiting for you  Welcome to New York

Going through this blog, I know who I was smitten with by the content of the things I would post. First Him was for the first few years. I know this because the first few years are littered with posts in which I confess to starving myself or wanting to escape Edmonton because everywhere I looked, there were memories of him. Second Him was from the summer of 2008 and onward. I was constantly fretting over not seeing him, or seeing him, or knowing he would never feel the way I did. But liking second Him wasn't only about him per se; liking and thinking about him was also tied to my one true love: Montreal. Montreal is the one constant in my posts. My love for this city has never wavered and you'll find posts sprinkled throughout this blog as odes to the city; it may just be my one great love, seeing as I've gone through bouts in my life where I hardly notice men, but my adoration for Montreal is ongoing. I had a bit of a break from getting random crushes on men when I