Random Channel Surfing

The nicest thing a guy can ever say to you is "you have beautiful aspirations/dreams". That right there proves that he values your mind more than anything else because it shows that he believes that you are fucking capable of meeting all of your goals and that he believes in you. I really wish he'd stay out of my mind.

Seriously, whenever I read things in which Jay or Eon say that things are "better than ever" in the band, it makes me sad. How bad were things when Pat was in the band?

She's in a cafe, trying to get some work done before she has to go to her afternoon class. She's sipping on her chai latte, diligently copying the notes she borrowed from last week's class. She hates depending on someone else, but when you're as weary about illness as she is, a tickle in your throat warrants staying home in bed. There's no use risking a cold, or worse, a flu, for the sake of education, right? She's currently highlighting an important part of the text, when she hears the first few bars of the one Travis song she's never been able to erase from her iPod. The one song that holds more meaning than any other song because it represents him and her and what they shared that entire year and it's all just too much for her in that moment. But instead of changing the song--scrolling to the next one or even shutting the damn thing off, as she's done in the past--she sets her highlighter down and listens to the words one last time. God.

I love my best friend Mel (she's the one who introduced me to Glee, after all--actually, it was more like she conned me into watching Glee for the first time, saying it would give us something to talk about during our weekly phone calls. But she quickly lost interest in the show, while I'm still completely obsessed...Thanks a lot, Mel...), but boy is she scatter-brained! Before I went to Cali, I called to see how she was doing. Mostly, I asked "When are you coming home" and "Will you be free for my sis' wedding." The girl said, "I dunno when I'll be home, but yes. I'll be there for the wedding. I'll get back to you, though, on my return dates, kay?" Weeks have passed since then. No note. No email. No facebook message. Nada. She texts me today to ask if we can chill. MELISSA. TODAY IS GLEE DAY! YOU KNOW I'M NOT FREE ON TUESDAYS!

Chantal's engaged. I wonder if I'll get invited to the wedding. I was reading my old journal entries today and ... I miss her. She was a great friend. A bit disloyal and a tad too wrapped-up in popularity, but she was good to me. Especially when it mattered. I hope she and Tarek have a wonderful life together.

Dunno whether to be thrilled or... apathetic. Or terrified. I keep losing all of this weight and it's cool and all, but I'm so worried that I might start counting calories again. That's how it started last time. I lost an enormous amount of weight in two weeks and I... couldn't... wouldn't... stop. Weight loss is like an addiction and that... that terrifies me.

... and the kid got HOT. I feel dirty. Hahaha!