Random Channel Surfing

It had been a long day at university. Too many assignments and too much work to do at his internship... he was swamped. He lugged to his computer and signed on to his university account. He was expecting an email from his Prof concerning his dissertation on the importance of physics in aviation. Sighing, he typed in his information. He rubbed his stomach absentmindedly and enjoyed the calm in the apartment. He smiled a bit, remembering the last time he was home alone. Looking at the computer, he clicked on his inbox. The first thing he saw was her name. He blinked once. Twice. Shook his head and clicked on the name; his heart pounding hard against his chest, making it a bit hard to breathe. Realizing he'd been holding his breath, he forced himself to breahe in and out; the air coming in out in a shaky sigh. Hey, I haven't talked to you in a while. How's life? He could almost hear the way her soft voice hesitated before inquiring after his life. She'd always b

She wishes she could just bring herself to eat. Sitting there among family and friends, she plasters a smile on her face. She hopes that none of them will realize how sad and terrified she feels. One bite... one sip... one savoury morsel of food is enough to ruin her for the day. So, she ignores her watering mouth. Ignores the dull ache in her belly. Ignores the concerned look her father gives her and smiles even wider. She stands, excusing herself. She wishes she could go without food.

The first time she saw him, she was a bundle of nerves. Cliched, yes, but that was exactly how she felt. Like she had been pulled taut... and then released, her body piling together in a heap of nerves. A bundle of nervous energy that could not... would absolutely not... be contained. She literally lost her shit when he threw a smile her way. And, like the stupid, insecure girl she is, she immediately looked down, afraid that the smile that erupted from her lips the moment he smiled at her would give her away. She hated how obvious she was when she was attracted to anybody and she really didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Something about him seemed so welcoming... unjudging... eternal. She shook her head, trying to rid the cheesy thoughts from her head, but once thought, she couldn't un-see the future her overactive imagination wove. She and he married, happy, successful... a white picket fence... 2.5 children and a dog.... cat..... turtle.... a whole zoo! But always toget

Sometimes she wakes up missing him so much it physically hurts. Other times, she doesn't realize she's been thinking of him until she blurts out his name in random conversations. Other times still, she doesn't realize she's missing him until their song comes on the radio or she sees the same model and make of his 1987 Pontiac Sunbird. It's those times that she wishes she didn't have a memory... that she didn't remember the feel of his stubble on her fingertips... or the noises he made while they made love. But it's on the mornings she wakes up with thoughts of him on her mind---when it's almost as though she can breathe his scent and feel the heat of his body next to hers---that she's thankful that she's experienced a love so strong and pure it's ruined her for life. Because if it weren't for the passion his memory stirs in her breast, she doubts she'd be willing to get up every morning. Because whether she likes it or not, she ma