Random Channel Surfing

My beautiful best friend, my Jenn, has given birth. I still don't know the baby's name, weight, length, but I do know that I love him so fucking much already. I can't wait to see his tiny little face and I'm beside myself with joy for her and Dave. They're going to make terrific parents and the little cupcake is going to grow up to be a fabulous human.  I love this feeling! UPDATE: Baby's name is Sterling. I love it!

And while that is upsetting enough as it is, the most shameful part of it all is that someone who has no experience with politics, has no real policies, and has stoked flames of violence and hatred in his country is now the president elect. What's going to happen to people of colour, people with disabilities, people in the LGBTQIA community, and people from a religious minority? What's going to happen to people who don't have health insurance? What's going to happen to women who rely on reproductive health care? What's going to happen to our precious earth? Our resources are finite. And, right now, it feels like our love for one another is finite, too. I've been feeling so disheartened since Tuesday night. My heart feels so much despair and fear and that's not usual for me. This feeling of desolation and utter abandonment is foreign to me; I can usually find the happier side to things, the silver linings on the cloudiest of days, but this feels too bleak

I'm always so frustrated with people who don’t have a real solution to problems. Like my friends who are against Clinton, for instance. They say neither Hillary nor Trump, but if you were to press them for a solution for not voting for either of them, I doubt they would know what to do. Eight years ago, I was hopeful and optimistic about Obama’s historic win. Tonight, before even knowing who the elected president is, I can’t muster any optimism. It’s terrifying and heartbreaking and I’m so nervous that regardless of who wins, there will be a shit storm like no other shit storm. The way people have behaved this electoral season has been shameful and upsetting and it’s made me legitimately fearful for my sister’s safety. The xenophobic fires that Donald Trump stoked will have a lasting effect on that country and if that doesn’t upset you, it obviously doesn’t affect you personally. I'm praying that Hillary wins tonight. I need her to win.

And how these two things are related. This year is interesting. And I don't mean interesting the way people use the adjective to describe something indescribable or suspect; the way people use the word when they're trying to be polite and give voice to a feeling or emotion they feel is offensive; the way the characters in the book Room use it. I mean "interesting" in that it's given me a lot of food for thought. This year has been one of growth and self-exploration. I've learned a lot about myself in terms of what I want and need, and the thing that's really struck me the most is that a lot of my creativity is dependent on my travels. Ergo, if I don't fly, my imagination won't soar. (Cheesy. Yes.) I have a theory for this: I do a lot of people-watching when I visit other cities or countries. I think my favourite part of traveling is probably waiting at the terminal before boarding my plane. And it's not because I'm not looking forward

Today is the first day of NaNoWriMo. *cue fanfare* And... It's off to an okay start. I had three story ideas, so I decided to write all three. I don't know if I'll keep that up, but for now... it seems to be working. I mean, whenever I feel inspired for one, I'll write that. When creativity for that story is zapped, I'll start working on either of the other two stories. It's interesting because my approach to this exercise is very non-committal. All I want is to write the 50'000 words in thirty days. Past that? I don't really have any real drive or motivation or impetus. It's all about the numbers for me, baby! So I don't know if it's because I'm only going through the motions with this: Whether it's because I want to be able to say, "I've written a book!" or really if it's because I'm feeling slightly pressured, but... that's how I'm approaching this year's NaNo. Plus, let's not forget the fa