Plans.

I wonder if my life has already been planned out.

 

Does somebody somewhere, out in the great wide world, know what will become of me? Will I achieve my lifelong ambitions? Will I meet a nice boy (not too tall, dark haired, dark eyed, sweet lipped) who will make me want to trust? Will I go to Brazil, surf in Rio’s salty waters and learn to be adventurous, independent, courageous?

 

Is there a higher power who has decided my future for me?

 

Why is it that these questions plague my mind late at night? Why is it harder for me to have faith in myself, in the fairness of life, when the world is quiet? Does anything really come out of these late night musings other than a complete and total feeling of dread?

 

I have been blessed. I have been loved. I have learned to guard my heart but not my body. I have learned that ignorance is bliss, and I intend to live in conjunction with this belief. But please, somebody somewhere, out in the great wide world, give me the comfort that everything will be all right.

On another note, I'm actually listening to Death Cab for Cutie's Plans CD. I wonder if my thoughts are somewhat related to the CD?