MERRY CHRISTMAS





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Back in Montréal

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Not Really A Nightmare

Usually, I dream of people I've seen once in my life. It's random stories not really belonging to me, and only sometimes, do I make a cameo appearance in my own dreams. It's always been this way. Once, I even watched Disney's The Jungle Book in its entirety as I slept. My dreams are just... random. There was a time in my youth when I was boy crazy; every boy, man, dude that crossed my path was carefully regarded and studied. I just really liked looking at them. As creepy as that sounds. So it follows that I would crush on several men in my lifetime. Feel the rush of seeing them, replaying our encounters like a never-ending loop. But I have fallen in love twice. A product, I'm sure, of my propensity for "boy craziness", combined with my annoying ability to form sentimental attachments to anyone who's open and earnest. And of those countless crushes and two men whom I've loved, I've only dreamed of one; but the sad thing is, my dreams unsettle me...
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And that's why...

.... I like him. I fight the urge to run away everyday, too. I think: I'm broke, I'm young, I have so much to learn... And I think how my escapism would hurt my loved ones. But the urge is there. It's comforting to know that he feels that way, too. Heck. It's great knowing that I'm not the only person who dreams of leaving everything behind. In other news, I have completed four out of the seven things I looked forward to doing (see this post ). I have watched Sex & the City , I went to Oasis with Amanda, I job-hunted (and found!! yay), and I had random adventures with people here in E-Town. But I'm not going to see Bedouin in October (in AB, that is), the SAC concert isn't until next weekend, and I haven't saved any money since I got back (P.S. I STILL haven't been paid for my last week in Montreal and even after I talked to them, it seems I won't see my cheque in a while... Fucking Vanessa. *grumble*) Oh lists. My new...
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