Today's just one of those days, y'know? Like, you're so happy, you feel like you could laugh and cry... like you could run a mile or fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

But at the same time, there's this really sad part inside of me that feels so empty and scared and... sad.

My sister is engaged. She and her fiancé made it "official" today and I am so elated and I just want to smish her face all day. All she's ever wanted in life is to meet the perfect guy (for her) and make babies. And now her dream seems to be coming true. Honestly, she deserves this happiness and I always want her to smile like she was smiling today and I want to meet my future nieces and nephews and travel to Europe to see them...

Oh, right. See? That's the problem. Once they get married, Pily is moving to Germany with her husband.

EUROPE.

So yeah. I'm beyond selfish. But I'm so scared. No more Pily to hear me bitch and moan about Glee... no more Pily to go for a coffee with... no more Pily to have movie marathons with. And... Who's going to go to the next horror movie premiere?!

I've never been big on change and knowing that my life is about to change drastically terrifies me. I feel like my throat is closing in on itself and like I just want to laugh and scream and hug everyone and push them away simultaneously.

Oh... the life of a walking contradiction sure is tough.

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