So I haven't written anything in a long while. Well, technically I have written some things; I've written texts, emails, tweets, tags, and the occasional re-written sentence at work, but I haven't written anything of real (artistic) significance since I left Montreal.

I'll admit it: I'm sad. I'm disappointed. I'm frustrated. I'm confused. I'm angry. I'm heartbroken. I'm melancholic. In short, I'm at another impasse in my life, one where the song "Should I Stay or Should I Go" is on loop. An impasse where so many conflicting emotions are at war--and frankly, I'm exhausted.

I met with Char yesterday and I almost said, "my dreams are dying" when she asked how I felt post-Montreal. And yeah, I have a tendency to over-dramatize everything in my life, but I do feel that my changing -- sorry, evolving aspirations and dreams signals that something's wrong. It's awful and scary and I'm confused. I'm angry. And I'll admit that part of the reason why I'm angry is that I'm unsure how or when or why my goals shifted. I don't remember actively thinking that I'd stay in Edmonton. Well, I do... but I don't like thinking or talking about the reasons for that.

Anyway, I almost want to move to Montreal to prove myself wrong. Lord knows I would do it--I'm just that stubborn.

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