I need to bawl, dangamit!

Have you ever needed to bawl--to get that feeling that's congesting your chest with foreboding--only to discover that nothing you do (listening to sad music, watching a sad movie, reading/writing sad stories) will induce those much-needed tears?

I'm currently facing this. I need to cry, but it's as though my tears are suffering performance anxiety because all I can manage are little pathetic hiccups and breathy whimpers.

Normally when I cry, I go all out: that means loss of breath, gasping for air, sighing so deeply that it feels as though my soul will implode.

Life, no matter what the circumstance, never turns out as we planned.

End.