Random Channel Surfing

I want to cheat. I want to know what lies ahead for me. I'm tired of all this hard work and guessing. I hate feeling like this. I just want to stay in Montréal... is that too much to ask?

I've spent the better half of today looking for a job. Sure, I've worked on my much-neglected homework assignments, but truth is, I've mostly been looking for job postings in Montreal, Calgary, Edmonton, and Toronto (this is in order of preference, by the way). I am so uber-frustrated. I don't want to leave Montreal... again. Everything's better here. The public transportation, the concerts, the seasons... Montreal is wonderful. Anyway, I applied for a job in Calgary. CALGARY. Since when do I want to live in Calgary!?!? Since I found out that a magazine there is looking for an editorial intern. Oh, and they're going to pay the intern MONEY. Real MONEY. Wow. I'm over the moon with this prospect!  Another reason why this internship would be sweet-ass, is 'cause I wouldn't have to pay rent. Two of my aunts live in Cowtown and I know that they'd be more than happy to have their lil niece stay with them for a six-month period. Look at me! I'm acti...

I just read a blog post from my friend Erin  and I know exactly how she feels in regards to the lethargy and blah-ness (and the pampering, too!). It's so strange knowing that I'm going to be leaving Montreal (AGAIN!) in 16 days. This thought alone makes me feel lethargic.  Anyway, Susanna, Daniele and I are the only interns at Lobster at the moment (Erin went back home and Eric is out galavanting in Europe!) so we've had time with our thoughts... Yeah, it's not going so well. This past Wednesday (December 3) is being touted as the publishing industry's "Black Wednesday" because of all the layoffs, pay-cuts and overall dream squashing that's happening in this once "indestructible" industry. Anyway, I've been feeling so shitty and confused. I need to feel motivated in order to start looking for a job... how lame is that?

I must learn not to jump to conclusions. I should admit that I'm really just an impatient person.

I only have three weeks left at Lobster Press . It is beyond shitty. I wonder when I'll come back to Montreal. I really want to stay (and everyone I know here is telling me I should) but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I shouldn't be stubborn right now. Montreal won't disappear... the city will always be here. I only hope I won't need three days of mourning like I did this summer, haha!! Then again, there are PLENTY of things I am looking forward to this holiday season... For one, the ENTIRE family will be together for the duration of the holidays... including my nephew Patrick's birthday : ) Ain't he cuuuuute?? Anyway, if I want to stay in this beyond amazing city, I think it's time I do something about it... like, you know, look for a job. Proactivity leads to opportunity!! HUZZA! (I just made that up... !! Hahah!) I just want someone to tell me what to do... I'm lame.

Everyday I wake up and it's Sunday Whatever's in my head won't go away The radio is playing all the usual  And what's a "wonderwall" anyway? Because my inside is outside... My right side's on the left side 'Cause I'm writing to reach now, But I might never reach you. I want to teach you About you But that's not you. It's good to know that you are home for Christmas. It's good to know that you are doing well. It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting. It's good to know I'm feeling not so well. Because my inside is outside... My right side's on the left side. 'Cause I'm writing to reach you now, But I might never reach you. I only want to teach you About you, But that's not you. You know it's true, But that won't do. Maybe then tomorrow will be Monday. And whatever's in my head should go away. Still the radio keeps playing all the usual. What's a "wonderwall" anyway? Because ...

I made the mistake of taking my rose-coloured glasses off and I saw that the world isn't all "sunshine and lollipops" and that people are full of shit.  Wow. That is about the most  cynical thing I have ever said in my life, but it's true: a large portion of the human race is full of shit. Granted not 100% of people are full of poo, but I would say a lot of them are. What brings this enlightened view of the world? Disappointment.  And because of my disillusionment, I feel distant and apart from everyone I know and love--again. It's hard to be happy all the time and while I manage it almost effortlessly when I see the world as I want to see it, once those glasses are off and I see the harsh reality, I lose faith.  Amazing what one discovery does. Ah well, I had to do it. Better now than in six months.

I stayed in Edmonton for school, and as such, never needed to live anywhere else but home. Free food, free room, free cable, free internet, free dry-cleaning service {kidding!}--why live anywhere else? But ever since this summer, I have lived with awesome people. My five roommates have all been respectful, friendly, funny and willing to help. You might say I lucked out. For starters, the way I found my roommates is very lucky.... I found out that I was going to Montreal this summer, on March 5... the day after I turned 22. I was ecstatic after I received a call from Rosalind (our Albertan coordinator) and immediately called my Hector, my Flory, and my older sisters. All four of them said the same thing: "bueno, y ahora necesitas un lugar donde vivir..." which means, "good, and now you have to find a place to live." Oh boy. So I called five different places--four women, and one really friendly guy named Nicolas. He took my name, number and said he w...

We're all entitled to our opinion. We're expected to respect  differing opinions.  I know this is true. I'm [thankfully] a very tolerant person. I value differing opinions and am a big fan of tolerance. Having said this, I want to find my "political soulmate." Someone who sees the world like I do. Who values differences and tolerance and sees that there are a million solutions to one problem. Like my friend Krystina says: "You have two choices... I tell myself I only have two, but really you have more than that!" (oh, my friend! How I miss our Montreal outings!!!)  I hate realizing that my idealized view of something/someone is mistaken. I have the tendency to idealize the people I like... friends, family, acquaintances... I see them in a different light. But when I'm shaken from this state, and I realize that they aren't who I thought they were, I feel betrayed. Having said this, I'll end this post with: I'm done.

I really, really, really want to stay in Montreal. Forever. Or, well, at least until I'm ready to go to Guatemala and explore most of--if not all--South America. But at the moment, all I care about is being in Montreal until at least 2010.  My roommates want to know if I'll be back in January. Frig, I want to come back in January, but who knows? Will I be here? I was planning on staying here, but I need to make another "list." Lists are awesome. The first human who made lists is a genius. Lists can solve any problem. Anyway, I'm starting to miss my hometown , too. le sigh

Barack Obama for President!  Barack Obama for everyone!! Dude has united the entire world! Shamans in Peru united to pray for his victory.  His Kenyan family are slated to slaughter a bull (not so cool, but we've all got our customs!), to celebrate his victory!! The world wanted Barack Obama... a man who will actually speak with other world leaders to find solutions that will benefit us all--who will see solutions instead of conflict.  He's got the whole world in his hands. Over 12'000'000 University students (and people in the 18-34 age demographic) voted. This truly is a momentous occasion...!! I am speechless. We are united. All of us. Americans. Canadians. Europeans. Asians. Africans. We are all united by this one man.  He will do great things. And we are all so lucky to be a part of it.  Like someone "confessed" in PostSecret: "I feel like we're at a really amazing part in history & it's amazing to be a part of it." P.S. Nice speec...

As cheesy as it sounds, we are witnessing history in the making.  I hope every American realizes how privileged they are to be creating change! [meaning: I hope all of those who COULD vote, DID!!} Why is it that I say we are witnessing history in the making?? Easy: the internet is playing a huge role in campaigning, text messages are being used in strategic ways to urge voters to stay in line... The chance that our American neighbours might elect the first black president, or first woman vp, or the oldest president (HA!)...  ... history in the making. P.S. Please ignore my grammatical errors... I'm typing this as I'm watching CNN.com. Oh, and please enjoy this vid... Obama is the embodiment of Inspiration.

I'm hoping that my brother-in-law, a proud Republican, will change his mind and vote Democratic for the first time in his life... Miracles happen, right? I can't put up with four more years (if not more!!! ) of Republican policies. American politics affect Canada more than we like to admit and it's horrible not being able to trust your neighbours to the South.

I was thinking the other day, "If my life was a movie, what would my soundtrack be?" I filled this out once before, but seeing as I'm in a new chapter of my life, I think it's time to do it over... This is how you do it: 1) Open your music library (iTunes, Media Player, etc) 2) Put your library on "Shuffle" 3) Press play! 4) For every question, type the title of the song that plays 5) For the next question, hit the "Next" button 6) DON'T LIE! ***************************************************** Opening credits: Swing, Swing (The All-American Rejects) First day of school: Take the Long Road and Walk It (The Music) Falling In Love: Bright Eyes (Jason Mraz) Fight Song: Last Standing Soldier (Kardinal Offishall feat. Bedouin Soundclash) Breaking Up: Battleships (Travis) Prom: Samba de mon coeur (Coralie Clément) Life: Bond (The Untouchables) Mental breakdown: I Would Die 4 U (Prince) Driving: Maybe Memories (The Used) Flashback: Dark Come So...

I told myself I would stop at last week's concert. I told myself that my new year's resolution of going to a show per month was already met... seeing as I've been to 12 concerts to date... Let's see... It all began with Matt Costa's concert in February Then I was lucky enough to experience the Foos in late March It was Concert-Palooza in April with THREE amazing concerts! In June I went to the Death Cab concert in Montréal... .... as well as NXNE (during which FIVE amazing bands played... only counts as one concert) In August, I went to Osheaga... .... and Radiohead. In September I saw Oasis... .... and the Saint Alvia... And now, in October, I went to my 12th concert... Bedouin Soundclash. But still. That doesn't mean that I don't want to go to David Martel's November 6th concert... or Sam Roberts' concert on November 20. I think I'm addicted to live music.

Seeing Bedouin Soundclash live, makes me want to hug everyone. I'm still on my high from last Thursday and knowing they're going to be in my hometown tomorrow (yes, tomorrow!), makes me want to be in two places at once. I wish I could apparate . Anyway, they were set to play a free concert in Vancouver yesterday in support of Insite  (North America's only supervised injection facility). Unfortunately, the event was shut down by Vancouver police, who stated that the organizers didn't have a permit to put up tents and that they obstructed traffic and blah, blah, blah... This has all caused a huge ruckus. Oh my.  One thing I forgot to mention in my last blog entry was Jay's freestyle during Money Worries! He ranted about how unfair things are, about the stupidity of the last election, and about Stephen Harper... The entire crowd went ape-shit. I wonder if he'll freestyle once more tomorrow...? Their latest vid is (as is always the case) very well-d...

So as you know, I went to the Bedouin show last Thursday night. I went with my kickass roommie, Laura . She'd heard "When the Night" years ago when it came out and loves it! It's now "our" song, hahah, we're geeks! Anywhoodles, I educated her on Bedouin's awesomeness, and she was hooked. And last Thursday night sealed the deal: the boys have a new fan : ) Laura and I managed to snag killer spots--front / centre (despite getting there late). The opening acts were Mishka (who's going to E-Ville) and Zaki Ibrahim. The bass player for Mishka was incredible. He could play like nobody's business! Zaki was amazing! She's so hyper-talented and cool... I definitely want to see her do her own show. Also: she was asked to come back out and play an encore!! Wowza...! Then Bedouin came on at around 9:50... how do I know?? Because Laura and I had sworn that we'd leave at 11:45 the latest  to catch the metro home... l...

Okay, last night was a joke.  Why did we even have an election? Who told him he had a chance of winning in Quebec?  En tout cas, life goes on. We're stuck in a Conservative minority government (again!) but... life goes on. In other news, BEDOUIN!! Tomorrow!! Oh how I love them!

So I've been back in Montréal for a little over three weeks now.  Here are three facts: --I'm still as crazy about this city as I was this summer --I love my job--if I could marry my job, I would --It's impossible not to love fall here... it was 20 degrees today... le sigh. I think I'm going to go out tomorrow and head out to Old Montréal to take pictures. I need to get pictures of the red, yellow and orange leaves that are all over the place. It's so romantic. I might go to Bedouin's concert on Thursday!!! Eee!!!

I am so happy with the fact that all anyone can talk about is politics! It's so wonderful knowing that people are actually passionate about what's going on...  . . . Oh wait, that was the dream I had last night. Right. People don't actually care who governs their country. People don't care if Harper gets his way and the arts are forgotten. People don't care that more is at stake than the environment or the safety of our Canadian soldiers or our economy for that matter. Or am I being too cynical? Is it that people do care but are too afraid to say something? Ah well, in any case, I think Montreal's cold winds are starting to get to me. I managed to watch both political debates last night. I watched Biden and Palin debate--and Biden put her to shame (which as I'm sure you all know, she's quite capable of doing WITHOUT anyone's help...) Poor girl doesn't know how to answer a question. Please, dear God... Get the Republicans out of the White House.  ...

WE MISSED YOU!!!  Charles organized the event (as is always the case with Charles... Mr. Organized). He used to organize your breaks before, and now he's organizing get-togethers!!  We joked that they were visiting the Taj Mahal and that they would all have to call in sick at the Museum! (FYI: they're all still working at the Museum... ALL OF THEM!!) Then... tun-TUN-TUNNNNNNNNNNNN!! As we're walking down Berri-UQAM, who do I see...??? PATRICK!  Voilà! C'est à vous cette KODAK Moment So there you have it. WE MISSED YOU SOOOO MUCH! We talked about you so so much, and they all wanted me to tell you that they missed you... and please write them back. 

I will NOT acknowledge it. It has taken me MONTHS to forget, and I won't ruin my progress by acknowledging it.  P.S. A very special blog entry for my special Montréal buddy will be posted sometime in the next few days... hehe. I miss you, mon amie avec les cheveux roux

I'm baaaaa-ack!! My new roommates (Laura and Ariane) are so different from my former ones. First off, they're both girls... they're both younger than me... they're so CLEAN!! Oh my! (The dudes, while clean, were surface clean... these girls are DEEP clean haha!) I do admit that living with Paul, Max and Marc did have its perks: they were super funny, loved the same music I did, and went to bed super-late (I feel guilty when I stay up because Laura and Ariane go to bed at 10:30 and our floorboards are creaky and I don't want to keep them up and I know I do when I walk around... phew!) Anyway, they both leave on Fridays and don't come back to Montréal until late Sunday night. Oh to be alone, once more.... My first week at Lobster was divine!! I'm in love with my boss (I caught myself mimicking her body language which is indicative of how much I look up to her). She's super-smart and funny and has the BEST haircut I have ever seen on anybody.  So far, so g...

Saint Alvia came through Edmonton on September 12, 2008... and boy, was it ever sweet!!! The boys from the former-Cartel (they recently changed their band name to Saint Alvia...) put on a great show (as can be expected from them, really!) and Fabiana, Lucina and I were lucky to chill with them backstage for a while. Anyway, they were opening for Against Me! and played before Japanthar. Interesting thing, I looooved Japanthar! This twosome was so impressive. They were a mix of electronic and punk-rock... But didn't sound at all like indie music... haha... I don't know if my comparison makes any sense, but regardless, I loved their set. Then, Against Me! came on. These dudes are ENERGETIC! I've seen them before (they opened for the Foos back in March). I love music!!

I'm leaving for Montréal today... Let the dancing begin :)

Poor Noel... :( I'm slightly ashamed of the fact that this happened in Canada... dangit. Ah well. Idiots are live and well all over the world--no matter where you live.  So I'm leaving in two days. I have a bed, I have a job, I have plans to see my friends from the Museum. It will be shveeeeet. I'm pumped! Slightly nervous but incredibly stoked!! My momma is sad. I can tell. She came into my room this morning to give me a hug. Am I being a disloyal daughter...? I know I'm going to miss my parents (and they me) but I know they are aware of the amazing opportunity that has been given me. Still, I can't help but feel like I should stay. Anyway, this weekend has been great! I saw the Saint Alvia on Friday (along with Japanther and Against Me! ) and as usual, they were sweet and wonderful and made us realize how amazing Canadian music is. Really, they are phenomenal! Pictures will be posted oh so soon...

Canada is having an election in about a month.  Nooooooooooo...  I'm positive that the American elections will overshadow ours... I don't know if my statement is unpatriotic [or unfair], but it's the truth. How pathetic. Despite my anger at the Conservative party and their egocentricities, I'm excited for the election. After all, voting is the most important factor in a democracy. You can't be a democracy without the peoples' input... duh. Anyway, I'll have to vote in Montreal. This will probably be weird. I hope my new roommates are as into politics as my last ones. In other news, my slacking always pays off.  I must learn not to procrastinate... Oh, and I'm leaving in exactly ONE WEEK. Let the panic-attacks begin....

"Everyday I wake up and it's Sunday Whatever's in my eye won't go away... Because my inside's on my outside My right side's on my left side 'Cause I'm writing to reach you now, but I might never reach you..." Amanda Tyler is my hero. This chickadee and I went to the Oasis concert last night and oh. My. Gosh. They were GREAT!! Too bad I missed Matt Costa for the second time in a row!! But, no matter... I got a meet and squeeze from the Matt himself. :) He even apologized because I missed him both times...!! Way to make me feel like a douche, Matt!! Hahah!

.... I like him. I fight the urge to run away everyday, too. I think: I'm broke, I'm young, I have so much to learn... And I think how my escapism would hurt my loved ones. But the urge is there. It's comforting to know that he feels that way, too. Heck. It's great knowing that I'm not the only person who dreams of leaving everything behind. In other news, I have completed four out of the seven things I looked forward to doing (see this post ). I have watched Sex & the City , I went to Oasis with Amanda, I job-hunted (and found!! yay), and I had random adventures with people here in E-Town. But I'm not going to see Bedouin in October (in AB, that is), the SAC concert isn't until next weekend, and I haven't saved any money since I got back (P.S. I STILL haven't been paid for my last week in Montreal and even after I talked to them, it seems I won't see my cheque in a while... Fucking Vanessa. *grumble*) Oh lists. My new...

I have decided to go with the flow starting..................... now.

I actually got the internship at Lobster Press. I actually have a cheap (but good) place to live. I actually have a reasonably priced round-trip to Montréal. In short, I actually might move to Montréal... again. I'm so excited. Not a bit of me is scared. All of me is so ready to take on Montréal again. I know it's going to be different (being in that amazing city without Krystina, without any  of the stagiaires), but I know I'll manage. The only thing that makes me sad, is that I'll probably spend Thanksgiving alone. It's a good thing I have friends there now. It'll be cool seeing Leora (who's getting her Masters) and the Museum folk again. I'm so happy! Eeee!!

I applied for my dream job.  I had the interview already. It's in Montreal. I should have stayed. I still don't know if I'm going to get the job. It would be beyond awesome if I did, but I'm here... the job's there. Who knows what will happen. I'm beginning to wonder if the memories I have of this summer are as significant as I thought they were. I'm feeling isolated from the rest of Edmonton--even my best friends seem distant. I'm going through another one of my existential crises... Surprise, surprise. If you want to see my dream job's site, click here . 

Lars and the Real Girl Watch it. Ryan Gosling and Emily Mortimer are perfection.  Delusion... al.

Applying for jobs is so annoying. First you have to write your cover letter, making sure to include all of the pertinent information and leave out all of the superfluous stuff. Very tiring. Then you have to edit your resume and make sure that it caters to your future employer's needs. And finally, you have to check that your portfolio pieces are STILL okay... even though you know that they've been edited at least twenty times before. Le sigh. Why can't a job just land in my lap? I would buy free ice cream for everyone in the world if that was the case.... So far I have completed two of the seven items that are on my "List of Awesome Things To Come!!" list... (sorry for the redundancy in that sentence). I better get a job soon... I might just be tempted to stay at the theatre... Again... boo.

I hung out with my three best friends on Sunday night.  It was our Sex & The City  date.  While an enjoyable movie, it was so predictable. Near the end, I wanted to bitch-slap Carrie across the face when she... well, when the movie ended (I'm not spoiling it for anyone who hasn't seen it!). There is nothing worse than predictability in a movie. Anyway, other than the movie's predictability, it was a super-funny, much-needed, inexpensive date with my hunnies.  We talked about Nicole and my escapades... about my plans concerning my move to Montréal next summer... about Nicole's plan of following suit... about Jenn's wedding plans... about Janis' new boy. It's amazing how they make my life whole. We realized that night that my desire to live in Montréal has everything to do with the wonderful city and nothing to do with my stupid irrationality. *Fewf!* That was one twist in my story that I wasn't counting on... at least now I know. 

Yesterday was day one. Today is day two. Tomorrow: day three. After these three days of mourning, I will not be sad about being home. Being home is a blessing really. I missed my parents SO much. My bed is my own. My kickass radio and TV setup is still kickass. Still, Montréal me manque. Beaucoup. That is why I have come up with a "List of Awesome Things to Come!!" - Sex & the City with my sheilas! (Finalement!) - Oasis (with Matt Costa!) - Job-hunting! - Money saving! (Yaya! No more rent for me!) - Saint Alvia Cartel (on Against Me!'s tour) - Bedouin Soundclash (with Hey Ocean!) - random adventures with MY FRIENDS I know Montréal is incomparable and that my internal mourning will last longer than three days, but I will be happy to be home.  Eventually.

So I'm on the plane back home. I'm praying that it'll miraculously land back in Montréal as opposed to Edmonton. Fuck. You cannot imagine how crushed I am to be away from Montréal. I have hardly stopped crying. I'm just thankful I didn't cry in front of anyone (except for everyone on my flight, that is!). It's so pathetic. Last night, as soon as I turned off the lights, I couldn't control the mother-fucking tears and I had to bite my cheeks so I wouldn't sob. My heart was so overwhelmed with cold... It actually scared me because the rest of my body felt numb--it felt completely chilled. My fingers, my feet, my arms and torso... everywhere. Even my scalp! I laid in my twin-sized bed and let it all out. I haven't cried myself to sleep since I was a little girl... and now, at the age of 22, I feel homesick for a city that isn't my home.  Why did this summer have to be so incredible? Why did the people have to be so amazing? Why d...

"I'm going back home to the West Coast." See you in nine months to a year, Montréal. No more metro. No more awesome Starbucks staff. No more French Olympics. No more Outremont. No more Côte-des-Neiges. No more... no more... no more. It'll be great coming back to this city in a year. Especially coming back with Nicole.  Moving here means that yet another alteration will have to be made to my life-plan when I get home. I don't know if Guatemala is still in the cards. Montréal has overshadowed all of my old plans. Montréal. "Montréal, c'est cool ouais..." I visited the Museum today and told my friends my plans about moving back here. Élaine got goosebumps, Valérie hugged me, while Vicky and Marie-Claude told me that I could count on them when I return. I'm gonna miss them.  Why do nine months seem like an eternity? Fuck. Why do I feel like there's a huge knot in my throat? Why do I feel like Montreal won't be as ama...

Last night I dreamt that one of my favourite coworkers was in Montreal for his layover from Europe. We met at the Trudeau Airport and reminisced over our awesome summers.  I told him I wasn't coming home and he told me he wouldn't tell anyone. I can't stop thinking about the certainty I felt when I said I was staying. Then I woke up and remembered how impractical it all would be and my feet landed firmly on the ground.  FuuuuuCK. In other news: BEDOUIN OCTOBER 25!! EDMONTON EVENTS CENTRE!  I know they're coming to Montreal in mid-October but nine days later, they'll be in my... home... town... ew. I must accept it. Je ne suis pas une montréalaise. Je suis le triste. 

I am going home at the end of this week. Fuck, eh? I remember the exact moment I wanted to stay in Montreal. It was late May and I was researching for the Museum (scanning websites, looking through papers, looking through magazines, etc), when I stumbled upon upcoming events on Voir.ca. "illScarlett JUNE 16", "The Raconteurs JUNE 25"... I added these two shows to Osheaga and Death Cab and knew.  I have to come back. I need to live here. To quote my good friend Lucina once more, "Montreal is where the party's at..." It's been SO hard to make this decision. I love this city.  Here are SOME resons why I love it so much:  I have FRIENDS here.  Did you see all the concerts I've been to this summer?? Its beauty makes me forget that it's hot and humid. I don't see effin' trucks every five seconds! It's close to every awesome town (think NYC, Ottawa, Toronto, Quebec...etc) In short... Montreal is perfection. Why would I want to go home?...

We five (I'm not pictured, hahaha!) went to the most amazing concert I've ever been to. And, I know that I always say that, but honestly, Radiohead was beyond words. Thom Yorke's voice was awe-inspiring. It's funny now, but during his ballads, all THIRTY-THOUSAND spectators were silent. THIS shocked the shit out of me. It took us 1 1/2 hour to get out.... *grumble* The above picture was the best one we took all night. Thom Yorke is the most perfect man. The following is the most shallow thing I will ever say: even if Thom Yorke is not that attractive, his voice and talent more than make up for it.... mmmmmmmm...

So Osheaga was WONDERFUL!! It took me a while to get inside the actual venue, BUT thx to the wonderful Dine Alone people, I finally got in. I handed out Sleepercar flyers (400 to be exact....), got a few papercuts, but overall, it wasn't too bad. I missed Sleepercar's set (Fudddgge!) but I could hear them from the Media/VIP tent. They of course played "A Broken Promise, " and I hummed along. Ah, wonderful, wonderfulness! I spent the entire time with my roommate, Marc, and his friend, David. 'Twas fun. Marc is the reason why I managed to get pics of the bands, haha! I am so short that I couldn't even see the stage. How sad. BUT, both he and David are over 5'11". OSHEAGA!! METRIC!! IGGY AND THE STOOGES! !  THE KILLERS!!   Anyway, when we got home, Paul was there, too!! (He was picking up his stuff before he left for France this morning) We had some last-minute roommate goodbyes, then went to bed. I can't believe I only have 11 days left here.... W...

I. Am. On. A. Guest. List. Yep.  Me. I am going to one of the coolest music festivals ever because I managed to snag a spot on the guest list. Eeeeeee!! I am uber-stoked! Thing is, I will most likely be by my lonesome... :( That kinda sucks but I won't mind too much... I hope.  How did I snag said-spot?? By supporting the world's best indie label: Dine Alone Records . Please check them out!! Their bands are sooo amazing. Don't believe me? Just check out this mini-list: Bedouin Soundclash , Sleepercar , Black Lungs , Attack in Black , Arkells , City and Colour ... and the list goes on. So Osheaga will most likely kick ASS! I will be witnessing the greatness of Sleepercar, Plants and Animals and Metric tomorrow!! (Oh, and the Killers, too but I am not too big a fan of theirs... but STILL!!) Knowing that Iggy and the Stooges will also be in my vicinity is very awesome, too. *SIGH* I am very excited.

She bit her bottom lip, focusing on the pain that her teeth caused on her tender flesh instead of the inadequacy she felt. Tears welled in her dark brown eyes and she could feel the knot in her throat tighten. Why? She sighed—trying to normalize her awkward breathing. Her jaw unwillingly clenched and finally, she met his gaze. She knew then that she would never see him again. Never would she hear his awkward footsteps in the morning. Creaking floorboards and rolling chairs. Never. Never. Why? His hazel eyes were dry, smiling warmly down at her. They noticed the tears and concern quickly took them over. He leaned in close. “Qu’est qu’y a?” Again, she couldn’t say anything. For months she had harboured an innocent crush on the tall boy. For months she had learned his quirks and mannerisms; loving everyone of them. She knew him better than she had ever known another guy simply due to the fact that they had shared the same roof. “Nothing,” she managed to choke… blinking the tears into obli...

Today is a bleaugh day.  It sucks more than a blah day. Is worse than a blugh day. I actually came home early today because I didn't feel good. Why am I under the weather? Who the fuck knows. My stomach is restless, my heart keeps skipping a beat (almost like when something EXCITING is about to happen...), and my fingers hurt. Pourquoi? I don't know but I have an idea. {I really hope it's not the flu!!} I don't think music or soccer can fix me today. The only solution is to sleep, sleep and sleep.....

If there was a game about wasting time, I would be the High Scorer, bar none. At the moment, I am a tad overwhelmed. One might say that I brought this upon myself and ordinarily, I would take offense to this statement. This time, however, I heartily agree. Fuck. There is so much shit that I have to do before I go back to Edmonton and, heh! I leave for E-Ville in three weeks. THREE weeks. FuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUck. Nothing a well thought out list can't fix. Thing is, I have to remember to include chill time in my list, because if I don't schedule some relaxation time, I will forget to take breaks. Oh my. It is going to be a very long week.

Question: Do you know what's especially annoying?? Answer: Not really knowing yourself. I am a random person by nature. I like to think of myself as a dichotomy --Most of the time I contradict myself because of this duality. At times I feel as if this is attributable to the fact that I am a Latin American woman from Guatemala who has been blessed to grow up in Canada... possibly one of the most culturally different countries from Guatemala. I am a Latina, but how I think is very Canadian. At the moment, I am realizing that this teetering back and forth is due to the fact that I have no clue who I am. I often wonder, am I Latina or Canadian? Do I think that this is the right way, or is it the other way? The great news is that I haven't been teetering back and forth as much this summer. I don't know if it's because I'm too busy enjoying myself or because I've actually GROWN this summer. I actually know that I am ten times more mature than when I left for ...

This is insane. And in other news, this is more common than I thought. I am screwed. 

I am going to Radiohead on August 6, 2008. How awesome is that?? I swear, Montreal is (to quote Lucina) "where the party's at." She's thinking about coming to McGill for school and I said she should do it! Montreal is beyond amazing. Why can't everyone live here (everyone I know and love, I mean)?!?! Anyway, the two roommates and I went for dinner this Monday. It was very cool chilling with the two of them because I really only talk to Paul most of the time since Marc's always busy. We had a pretty chill night and well, I hate to use the word "bonded", but we did! :) Paul and I had already bonded (having walked home in the rain late one Sunday night) but chill-time with Marc has been almost non-existent. He has great taste in music (he was at the Death Cab concert in June) and how can I NOT get along with people who like the same music that I do?!?! He even sang some Bedouin, hahaha! ("Ouais, je connais Bedouin Soundclash... 'When the ni...

A tech writing company here in Montreal is hiring. You heard me. A tech writing company here in Montreal is hiring... HIRING!!  I know I only took Tech I, so the odds of me getting the effing job are SUPER slim, but... if I don't try, I'll never know. I know I'll be forever asking myself "What if...?" Ah well. You never know. Besides, if I get it, where will I live??? Hahaha, I can't live with Marc, Nicolas, Alexis and Maxime... they're already packed as it is! Maybe since Alex is potentially staying, he and I could room together...??? Ah, I hate it when my overactive imagination goes crazy and automatically goes into fantasy mode...! Although Alex would be a kick-ass roommate... I'm only saying...  In unrelated news,  WHY am I so effing fickle?!?!?!?! 

This is what I said as I dragged my suitcase down one flight of stairs the day my roommates and I moved. FEWF! 'Twas hard. This is what I am currently saying today... damn. Why couldn't I just leave it alone?? Now if I'm mean, things won't go as planned. Merde.

I am confused.  The way karma works is what you do to others, will be done onto you, right? Okay, so if you're an asshole to someone, another person will be the same to you, right? Alright, so ... I shouldn't be an ass to anybody. Fair enough. I hate not knowing how to handle a situation. I really don't want to be a bitch to anyone.

My roommate Paul and I got into a debate about lyricism. He made fun of my love of bands who had "sucky" musicians (meaning that they're well-rounded and can play more than one instrument VERY FUCKING WELL) who write weak lyrics. That got me thinking, who is the lyrical top dog at the moment?? One could argue that, while my love for Bedouin runs eons (haha, get it?) deep, Jay lacks some lyrical insight (but for a young artist, he still has more chops than many others! I love you, Bedouin) and the Foos have never been known for their lyricism (even though "Everlong" will forever make chills run up and down my body...) and The Bravery is more catchy than insightful. Hmmm... So that got me thinking even more, WHY DO I LOVE MUSIC?? I used to think that it was due to the lyrics, but now that Paul has got me thinking, I realise that all my favourite bands have one major trait in common: I have witnessed their blinding brilliance in person. I have been touched ...

Too bad Nicole had to leave for New York. :( She is such a sweetheart. I packed her a snack and wrote her a note thanking her for having come to visit me and what do I find when I get home??? A note from her thanking me for having her over. How could I not have her visit me??? The more time passes, the more I realise how important Nicole is in my life. We've done a lot of STUPID shit together, but they have been milestones in our lives and friendship. She's the Doug to my Steve Butabi.  Who doesn't want a friend like that???

I hate being ill. My chest is congested, my nose is gross, I had a fever on Sunday. Ugh. Nicole is leaving tomorrow. We took so many awesome pictures... TOO BAD I LOST MY CAMERA, CELL PHONE, AND ID ALL ON THE SAME FUCKING NIGHT! As you can see, I'm a tad pissed off at my stupidity. How could I do that?? I'm not very smart sometimes. Anyways, everythings solvable, thank God. I have a scanned copy of my driver's license and Alberta Health Care card which I must send to Alberta ASAP, and I have my old cell phone. My parents are Fed-Exing it over : ) But still. My memories of Nicole and my escapades! All gone! How tragic. Why can't people be honest and NOT take peoples' stuff?? Is it really that hard to get a job, make money and BUY your own shit? I guess it is. Idiots (I mean me and the thief that has my phone!). Anyways, the same weekend I lost all of my shit, "dude I thought was cute" wanted to chill. Weird. Guys here are decent. (Do I feel a BUT coming on....

I made my first mistake at work today. I was supposed to send out the invitations to ''Passions and Scandals'' today, but instead I sent them out YESTERDAY. I guess I technically made my first mistake yesterday... Anyway, my boss wasn't angry. She's very cool. She made it seem like she had miscommunicated... like it was her fault... and she said that I did a good job researching the names and their addresses. ''Bonne job, Marchela.'' She's cute.

Someone. It's weird... meeting people and liking them and making plans and *hopefully* seeing those plans through. He's cute. Short. Wears nice shoes. I love Montreal.

I love my job . There is no way that the other interns have a sweeter job than Steph, Krystina or I. Honestly.

Music and Soccer are undoubtedly my two favourite activities. How can anyone live without either of them?  Soccer: Keeps us healthy Is HOTTT Could be the means to achieve World Peace Is accessible to all Music: Keeps us healthy Is HOTTT (think of all the babies that music has helped make!) Could be the means to achieve World Peace (Hello?? Bob Marley?? Were you not one of the smartest men ever?? Hell yes!) Is accessible to all *Sigh* Today I am le triste. I don't really know why. I'm having A BLAST here in Montreal, I've started working on my communications project, I love my friends here, and two of my best friends are visiting me this week! I have no effing reason to feel ... weird.  Anyway, my two loves are the solution, I think! Soccer makes me feel happy and passionate, and music makes me feel everything a million times more. I think that's why I'm thinking about both of them right now. I just want to feel. Better listen to Plans on repeat today... Fuck, I love...

I was in Toronto on Friday for the NXNE Dine Alone Showcase. Damn! Dine Alone music is the best in the world! Bar none.  So the day started off with me going to the bank because my damn access card wasn't working. Not fun. Then I went to the metro station near my house to go to the "Gare Central" to get to Toronto on the Via Rail train. The lady I asked really had no clue what she was saying, but was nice enough to give me a metro map. Yay, Montreal hospitality. They're so nice in this city! So anyway, I get on the metro and five hours later... I'm in Toronto at th is motel. It was so cheap and so nice and SO fucking close to everything. I literally walked to and from the concert. So I get to the El Mocambo and see Jay doing an interview (YAY!) as well as members from Moneen, Kenny and Hippy. It was damn hot, though, so I decide to walk across the street to the 7-Eleven (random observation: there's no 7-Elevens in Montreal... odd), and see seven shirtless du...