Do you find that you dislike people gradually, or does it happen all at once?
For the most part, I tend not to dislike people. In my mind, people are generally agreeable, if not downright friendly. But there does come a time when I cannot stomach the thought of conversing with, let alone seeing, someone I don't like. I'll do everything in my power to avoid them; go in the other direction, avoid making eye-contact, avoid places I know they frequent.
In short, I act like the socially awkward human being I really truly am.
I rarely dislike anyone. I can count on one hand all of the people I don't like. There was a manager at my theatre who was always unpleasant to me, so I never liked her. She would usually kick me out of the office, even though she allowed others to stay --- I was allowed in the office, too, having been an office worker at the theatre and having been in charge of money pick-ups and managing the safe in the cash office. Years later, I've come to learn that this former theatre manager would encourage staff employees to steal. Not to brag or anything, but... I knew she was cruddy from the beginning. Just sayin'.
There was also a guy who worked with me at an airline. He was generally disagreeable; would make sexist jokes about some of my female co-workers and tended to hit on my older sister, despite the fact she turned down his advances. (Don't get me started on the time he tried to get in my father's good graces. I still cringe at the memory.)
So yeah. Disliking people isn't my thing. I try to avoid it. People is good in my books.
But being on the receiving end of someone's dislike? In a word: ouch.
It makes you feel inadequate and awkward and confused. Because you realize that, while you have friends and family and people who care about you and would do any number of things to keep you safe and sound and have carved a personal living space for you in their hearts, someone on the planet is the complete opposite of that.
But oh no. The worst isn't learning someone dislikes you; oh no. It's learning that you mean nothing to someone. That you're not even a blip in their radar. That you're invisible. That whether something good or something awful happens to you, this person could. not. care. less.
It's an interesting feeling. It's a little embarrassing, but more importantly, it's humbling. To realize that you're not the centre of person x's universe is to realize that you're full of yourself. I've tried, time and again, to justify why a certain person (who will remain nameless because I've come to learn that my best friend reads my entries here. HI, NIX!) feels apathetic towards me, but the fact remains that I just don't register. I don't matter. And there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm just gonna let that thought marinate for a bit.
For the most part, I tend not to dislike people. In my mind, people are generally agreeable, if not downright friendly. But there does come a time when I cannot stomach the thought of conversing with, let alone seeing, someone I don't like. I'll do everything in my power to avoid them; go in the other direction, avoid making eye-contact, avoid places I know they frequent.
In short, I act like the socially awkward human being I really truly am.
I rarely dislike anyone. I can count on one hand all of the people I don't like. There was a manager at my theatre who was always unpleasant to me, so I never liked her. She would usually kick me out of the office, even though she allowed others to stay --- I was allowed in the office, too, having been an office worker at the theatre and having been in charge of money pick-ups and managing the safe in the cash office. Years later, I've come to learn that this former theatre manager would encourage staff employees to steal. Not to brag or anything, but... I knew she was cruddy from the beginning. Just sayin'.
There was also a guy who worked with me at an airline. He was generally disagreeable; would make sexist jokes about some of my female co-workers and tended to hit on my older sister, despite the fact she turned down his advances. (Don't get me started on the time he tried to get in my father's good graces. I still cringe at the memory.)
So yeah. Disliking people isn't my thing. I try to avoid it. People is good in my books.
But being on the receiving end of someone's dislike? In a word: ouch.
It makes you feel inadequate and awkward and confused. Because you realize that, while you have friends and family and people who care about you and would do any number of things to keep you safe and sound and have carved a personal living space for you in their hearts, someone on the planet is the complete opposite of that.
But oh no. The worst isn't learning someone dislikes you; oh no. It's learning that you mean nothing to someone. That you're not even a blip in their radar. That you're invisible. That whether something good or something awful happens to you, this person could. not. care. less.
It's an interesting feeling. It's a little embarrassing, but more importantly, it's humbling. To realize that you're not the centre of person x's universe is to realize that you're full of yourself. I've tried, time and again, to justify why a certain person (who will remain nameless because I've come to learn that my best friend reads my entries here. HI, NIX!) feels apathetic towards me, but the fact remains that I just don't register. I don't matter. And there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm just gonna let that thought marinate for a bit.
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